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Right then, I have given up on Arsenal for yet another season and this time it only took 2 games! Arsene, if you're reading this, fuck off back to France you prick! At least we are still in Europe. Anyways here is this weeks selection. Enjoy
PICS
If you can't see the image properly, click on it
Bambi's Bitch
I bet some of you looking at this think this is cool don't ya...Wankers
Elementary my dear Solomon Olufemi
How to demonstrate a sign!
So True
OMFG! Disney was right!
Even after the airbrushing, its still so wrong
The perfect present for an ex
BFG
If you're wondering, I gave it to him
Imagine doing that during the London riots
say bamboo...
We have all been there... or was that just me?
High fiving a whale! Thats the way to roll
Chill out
This has got to beat dog fighting!
You have been warned
Just cool
No comment
I want one!
That's one angry Congressman
Instant punishment to speeding
parre and reposte
Must try that
Someones hungry
Tremors are real!!!!
Dick Head
If the dog hated her as well, she must of been a bitch
One hell of a Chem Trail!!!
Now you know
Damn right
Only in Dubai right!!!
The alternative to lion fighting
Can you just imagine what Mel and Jesus would be talking about
A gold nugget
Good to see our MEP's are earning their seat!
The gigs up
If I ran this shit, the sign would just say "do it pussy"
my new slippers...
GIFS
If the GIF isn't moving, click on it
Smooth operator
Everybody likes a good stretch
that's one smooth ref
Poor Christian, he looks so shocked
lmao
I want one
True gangsta
I don't know why, but I find this really really funny
tit
the killer lime
He's delivery is Shakespearean
ouch
paybacks a bitch
haha
You know that shit
BRANDING
A collection of well known companies, but the etymology of their names might not be
A collection of well known companies, but the etymology of their names might not be
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
ATTENTION: anyone who owns an auto repair shop
i need a fake invoice printed up for a bunch of car work so i can explain to my wife where our $1200 went. if you can print out an invoice with a bunch of repair stuff that would cost around that, please contact me ASAP.
From Me to *********@********.org:
Hey, are you still looking to get a fake invoice? I run a repair shop off of 95 in Essington and could easily print something out for you.
Mike
From Dave ******** to Me:
yea dude that would be great. it needs to be for like $1200 but your a mechanic im sure you can think of something that costs that much. essington is kinda out of my way so i just need a good reason for my wife that explains why i was down there, ya hear?
From Me to Dave ********:
Alright, I can print one out in a few minutes and scan it for you. As for your wife, just tell her you were on your way to Chester to buy drugs and your car broke down, so you just had it towed to the nearest shop. Be sure to mention how great our service was.
Mike
From Dave ******** to Me:
yeah great idea genius that would go over real well. im better off coming clean about my bad luck in atlantic city, but that aint happenin neither
From Me to Dave ********:
I don't see why it wouldn't go over well. Lots of people go out of their way to Chester for drugs. I get my coke from Chester all of the time. It is cheap, and good, too.
Anyway, I've attached the invoice I wrote up for you. I forgot to ask the Make/Model/Year of your car, so I just took a guess. If I am wrong, let me know and I can change it.
Mike
Attachment:
From Dave ******** to Me:
if you guessed 98 corolla then id be impressed otherwise could you put that in, and date it for today? thanks a lot for your help dude
From Dave ******** to Me:
wait a minute what the fuck is this shit
From Dave ******** to Me:
$200 to unjam a tape deck are you for real man? that isnt even a real problem
what the fuck is a "transgasket differential" are you serious dude, this shit isnt going to fly. 50 bucks to set the dashboard clock wtf man
like seriously man are you fucking retarded? wtf is this bullshit
From Me to Dave ********:
Yes, I typically charge around $200 to unjam a tape deck. Have you ever tried to do it? It is a pain in the ass. Some people panic and try to rewind their tapes and that just makes it even worse.
I charge $50 to set the dashboard clock, but it is well worth every penny. It is the most accurate time reading you will ever have. I sync it down to the millisecond with the official NIST time, and I have it verified by a certified time expert.
You've got me there on the transgasket differential. I just make that up and charge $400 for it and people usually pay it without much argument. Especially women, which brings me to my next point.
Women tend to know nothing about cars, so your wife will probably just look at the document and get confused by all that fancy car lingo. All women need to see is the money amount, which I have made very clear at the bottom of the invoice.
Mike
From Dave ******** to Me:
cmondicking me around and put some real shit on there. i dont know what kind of bullshit shop you are running over there, but neither me or my wife would believe this thing
and fix the car info. out of all the guesses you could have made you guessed that i drive a fucking delorean? for real dude?
From Me to Dave ********:
Sorry, you just struck me as the kind of guy who would have a DeLorean.
If you really think your wife isn't going to fall for that, I'll give you a more realistic looking document. Here is a realistic bank statement you can use to show your wife where your money went.
Mike
Attachment:
From Dave ******** to Me:
wow thats great buddy thanks for nothing you fucking retard
hey why dont you go fuck yourself in the ass with your transgasket differential. what a douchebag
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
EPIC FAILS
A collection of twats basically!
COMIC STRIP
JOKES
My daughter walked into our bedroom last night to catch us having sex.
"What are you doing?" she asked in shock.
"Making you someone to play with," I said.
"A brother?" she asked excitingly.
"No, a cousin," I replied. "Now go and watch out for your mother coming home."
I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance.
Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.
Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp...
Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinsons isn't making it any easier.
My wife confronted me, "Are you having an affair?"
I looked her in the eye and replied, "I'm not going to stand here and lie to you."
So we sat down and I lied to her from there instead.
My wife just ran into the front room and screamed, "The baby's coming"
I said, "But it's the cup final today"
She said, "Well you'll just have to miss it then"
I said, "Ah nice one .. I knew you'd understand"
My wife said, "I don't know what I'd say if you ever won the lottery."
I said, "Oh, there's three little words that spring to mind."
She said, "I love you?"
I said, "No... where's he gone?"
Not got the exam results you want ? Turn your results over repeatedly with a ruler. Your grades won't change...but it will be good practice for your career at McDonald's
BBC NEWS: Pupils at a school in Peckham achieve record GCSE results
It's amazing what a few new laptops will do
"What are you doing?" she asked in shock.
"Making you someone to play with," I said.
"A brother?" she asked excitingly.
"No, a cousin," I replied. "Now go and watch out for your mother coming home."
I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance.
Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.
Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp...
Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinsons isn't making it any easier.
My wife confronted me, "Are you having an affair?"
I looked her in the eye and replied, "I'm not going to stand here and lie to you."
So we sat down and I lied to her from there instead.
My wife just ran into the front room and screamed, "The baby's coming"
I said, "But it's the cup final today"
She said, "Well you'll just have to miss it then"
I said, "Ah nice one .. I knew you'd understand"
My wife said, "I don't know what I'd say if you ever won the lottery."
I said, "Oh, there's three little words that spring to mind."
She said, "I love you?"
I said, "No... where's he gone?"
Not got the exam results you want ? Turn your results over repeatedly with a ruler. Your grades won't change...but it will be good practice for your career at McDonald's
BBC NEWS: Pupils at a school in Peckham achieve record GCSE results
It's amazing what a few new laptops will do
VIDEOS
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KEEP SMILING THIS WEEKEND
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