Saturday 30 June 2012

Session 62















Hey. Bad news, Therapy Sessions is now available as a podcast! God help us, its all up and listed on iTunes under Therapy Sessions. Look out for the potato counter!

Unfortunately, Therapy Sessions HQ is in Germany at the moment so we haven't really had time to format this session properly, our bad! Enjoy anyways xx





SONG OF THE DAY





PICS
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GIFS
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AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!














BUILDING THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING
Old school hardness of the men of made the Empire State Building!

































DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist


Original ad: 
i want a black kitten if you have one please let me know thank you

From Mike Partlow to **********@**********.org

Hey,

I have a kitten that I want to get rid of. It is my girlfriend's kitten, but she went on a three month vacation to France and is probably cheating on me every chance she gets, so I am going to get rid of her kitten to spite her. The kitten is only a month old.

Unfortunately the kitten is not black, it is white, but I can dunk him in a can of black paint if you want. I have acrylic latex enamel paint, but if you are allergic to latex, I also have polyurethane semi-gloss. I personally think the semi-gloss would make the kitten nice and shiny.

Let me know if you want him.

Thanks

Mike

From sarah ******** to Me

ummmmmm no thanks. i dont think that would look right and its prob realy bad for the cat

From Mike Partlow to sarah ********

Sarah, 

I assumed you were allergic to latex and went ahead and used the semi-gloss. The kitten looks adorable now! Do you want to come by and pick him up? 

Mike

From sarah ******** to Me

WTF R U FUCKIN KIDDING ME! EW

From Mike Partlow to sarah ********

Sarah you're coming to get the kitten, right? You should get him soon. He keeps trying to lick the paint, and I don't have the time to keep watching him to make sure he doesn't. 

From sarah ******** to Me

NO I DO NOT WANT HIM THAT IS FUKED UP!!!

From Mike Partlow to sarah ********

Oh, so that's how you do business, Sarah. You made me waste half a can of paint for nothing. I demand at least $10 for compensation. 



FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook














SECRET PASSAGES
You know you want one!




























GOLDMAN SACHS
Things heard in the Goldman Sachs elevators do not stay in the Goldman Sachs elevators. It takes a certain type of person to thrive at GS. Here is an insight to what the 1% think.



ED#1: It's not you... it's my perception of you that matters.

#1: The difference between petting and hitting a dog is it's tolerance for pain. Same goes for 1st year analysts.

#1: Daimler is shutting down the Maybach brand. #2: I wouldn't want to be the guy that has to tell Rick Ross.

#1: They shouldn't blame me personally. I'm not the one who told them student loans were an investment.

#1: Dave Matthews 'Crash' is responsible for at least 50% of the 14-year olds you meet in Connecticut.

#1: Life is my favorite drinking game.

#1: I'd rather be me now, than have been the quarterback in high school.

[HK] #1: What most people would call the greatest night of their lives, I call just another Friday. #2: Or a Wednesday.

#1: Since he's rich, we call him 'eccentric.' If he was poor, he'd just be 'crazy.'

#1: My aunt still always sends me a $20 check for Christmas. #2: Thanks for the gin & tonic Aunt Millie.



PHILOSOPHY OF THE WEEK
Here's the deal. There is a dude on YouTube called Jay Herrod who's life mission is to upload weird videos of himself giving the world advice. Here is this weeks...








ECHOES OF WAR 
Blending old war picks with their locations today





















ENGRISH
Back after popular demand






















FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week














SPACEDICKS
God help us. A collection of what the net is actually good for... Fucked up shit in all its forms












JOKES





I love the look on people's faces, standing soaked in the rain at the bus stop as I drive past.

It's partly why I became a bus driver.






Recently leaked documents from the Vatican have shown why the Catholic Church is protecting paedophiles.

Apparently, the last time they shunned a child molester, he started Islam.







Just read the news that Germany have decided to ban child circumcision.

I'm not sure whether they are being humane or just trying to get rid of the Jews again.







I got pulled over for speeding earlier today.

"You've got to let me go, Officer," I pleaded. "My wife is due any minute!"

He said, "What, due as in pregnant?"

I said, "No, due as in home from work, and I've left midget porn on the laptop."







'Henry' the Hoover, that small round thing that you drag round the house with that stupid grin as it bumps into everything possible.

Can't help thinking 'Harvey' was a better suited name.


VIDEOS

















































ENJOY THE EURO FINALS THIS WEEKEND