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Okay so we're a little late this week!!! shit happens. To make it up, there is a shit load of vids this week
Enjoy punks
SONG OF THE DAY
PICS
If you can't see the image properly, click on it
is it more or does this bag look like the Predator!
The new Twilight is running on a tighter budget this year!
the new cat router from BT
lol
The dog dies!
So, does his car eats carrots then?
Amen to that
I want one immediately
I like this ad
Oh dear
Iz it cos Iz...... a helicopter!
Pimp my taxi
Finally he's colour coded
I like how it is a warning sign!
Lamb chops anyone
drink up
Whats weirder, the chair or the fact that this 4 year old is reading the Financial Times!
Where to start...
Please tell me this has been shopped!
nap time
You may have the stick, but I have your tail, so its my stick!
There is even a second helmet the dog could of used!
FAIL
You see
Keep cool
The story of my life
Holidays/...
whoops
continual fail!
This pic would of worked without the dude in the background thanks to the midget!
Someones gotta make then
I once was blind, but now I see
Oh dear
Father like son
Only in Italy!
It just makes sense
women...
payback
Bring it
the problems of naming your child junior
GIFS
If the GIF isn't moving, click on it
lol
just keep staring
Bear vs raccoon
idiots
tit
FTW
The great escape
It's not that funny, but I can't help loving it
WTF
Get off the drugs!
He is such a wanker!
ouch
fire boarding - its the future!
If someone gets this, let me know, as I don't have a fucking clue!
I officially love this bloke!
HAUNTED HOUSE
Pics taken from a Haunted House in Canada.... Fucking pussies!
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
Trustworthy and reliable pet sitter available in the area to watch your pets. Your pet will be in good hands and treated with care while you are away. Rates vary - email to discuss.
From Me to **********@**********.org
Hey,
I am away on vacation with my girlfriend for two weeks and completely forgot about her pet fish. Would you be able to go to my house and feed him every day? Normally I wouldn't let a stranger go into my house, but I am desperate and you seem trustworthy. What is your rate? I can pay you online via PayPal, or just give you cash when I get back.
Mike
From Jennifer ********* to Me:
Hi Mike,
Of course I can take care of your fish but I have a few questions first:
- Where do you live? Is there a spare key/garage code/whhatever so I can get in?
- What kind of fish is it and how big is the tank? (If it is a small fish bowl then I can care for the fish at my house)
- Any special instructions for feeding the fish?
My rate for small pets such as fish is $10 per day. Feel free to call me if you wish to discuss this over the phone. My number is 610-***-****.
Jenny
From Me to Jennifer *********:
Jenny,
I live at 211 ******* St (near the Acme shopping center).
The fish is a guppy but it lives in a 55 gallon tank, so you probably can't move it. It just needs one pinch of fish food in the morning and at night (in the jar above the tank).
I don't have a spare key or garage code, so you are going to have to break a window to get in. I have a garden in the backyard where you can find a rock. I would prefer if you didn't break any of the front windows because they are new. I'd suggest breaking the kitchen window in the back of the house. Now when the window breaks, the alarm is probably going to go off. I think the alarm code is 1988, but I'm not entirely sure. It is protocol for the alarm company to send the police when a window is broken, so just tell the police that I hired you to take care of my fish.
When can you be over there? I haven't fed the fish in over a day so I am sure he is really hungry.
Mike
From Jennifer ********* to Me:
What? That is crazy - I'm not gonna smash a window!
From Me to Jennifer *********:
Jenny,
Why don't you feel comfortable breaking a window? Don't worry, I was going to get that window replaced with a wall anyway so my girlfriend can't look outside while she is doing the dishes.
If you are afraid that you aren't strong enough to break the window, I have a sledgehammer in my shed. The shed is in the backyard and is unlocked. It is on the wall with the shotguns. You can easily break any window with that thing.
I almost forgot, if the police come, I need you to hide some weed and a bong that I left on the kitchen counter. Just put the weed in your pocket so they don't notice it when they are talking to you about the alarm, and maybe stuff some flowers in the bong so they think it is a vase.
Mike
From Jennifer ********* to Me:
I don't feel right smashing your window bc how would I explain that to the police? And now you want me to hide your drugs? Do you want me to go to jail? Think about what you want me to do and then ask yourself if you would do it in my situation.. I don't think you would!
From Me to Jennifer *********:
Jenny,
Please, just do it for Gary. If he dies, my girlfriend is going to be pissed at me. The last time I accidentally killed one of her pets, she wouldn't have sex with me for a month. Do you know how expensive it is to pay an escort service for sex? Please don't make me go through that again.
If you are afraid of the police, I'll understand. I have a criminal record too, so I get why you don't want to deal with them. How about you smash the window, run in, feed the fish, and run out before they get there? It will probably take them at least five minutes to respond to the alarm.
Mike
From Jennifer ********* to Me:
No! You are an idiot! I don't have a criminal record you damn moron and I plan on keeping it that way. Don't try to guilt me about your fish because its your own stupid fault for forgetting about him! Just explain to your gf that you are a jackass and forgot to take care of the fish!
From Me to Jennifer *********:
Jenny,
When we get back home and I find the dead fish, I'll have no choice but to explain to my girlfriend that I hired you to take care of the fish and you let him die. I will give her your phone number and let you two sort things out.
Mike
From Jennifer ********* to Me:
Don't you fucking dare you stupid mother fucker!
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
SPLASH MOUNTAIN
This is the new fad apparently!
This is the new fad apparently!
COMIC STRIP
JOKES
So New York has built a 'Park in the sky' then?
Hope it works better than their 'Airport in a skyscraper' idea.
I reached my hands round my wife in bed last night and started groping at her breasts.
"Ooh," she giggled. "Trying to get lucky, are you?"
"Sure am," I replied. "But I've found no lump yet."
My young daughter asked me this morning.
"Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night, I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream?"
"Nothing darling," I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half shaved head.
I haven't had sex for about 1 year, 4 months, 24 days and 56 minutes.
It doesn't bother me though.
I was having a lovely sleep earlier until some inconsiderate cunt decided to bounce off my windscreen.
I've just had a shit that was that big it touched the water before breaking off.
That's pretty impressive from the middle diving board.
My wife thinks our sex life has got boring and I'm easily distracted.
Oh well, better get back to it I suppose.
Hope it works better than their 'Airport in a skyscraper' idea.
I reached my hands round my wife in bed last night and started groping at her breasts.
"Ooh," she giggled. "Trying to get lucky, are you?"
"Sure am," I replied. "But I've found no lump yet."
My young daughter asked me this morning.
"Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night, I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream?"
"Nothing darling," I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half shaved head.
I haven't had sex for about 1 year, 4 months, 24 days and 56 minutes.
It doesn't bother me though.
I was having a lovely sleep earlier until some inconsiderate cunt decided to bounce off my windscreen.
I've just had a shit that was that big it touched the water before breaking off.
That's pretty impressive from the middle diving board.
My wife thinks our sex life has got boring and I'm easily distracted.
Oh well, better get back to it I suppose.
VIDEOS
ENJOY THE WEEK
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