SESSION 81
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Our biggest session to date folks! Full of all the creamy goodness you have come to expect.
enjoy...
PICS
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GIFS
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AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
MOVEMBER
its Movember again, and here are some true tash wearing folk to provide some inspiration
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
hi there i am a 22 year old female babysitter looking for a job. i am available pretty much all the time so if you need someone to look after your kid, let me know!
From Timmy Tucker to **********@***********.org
Hey,
I saw your ad about babysitting and am very interested. My grandmother is in the hospital and is probably going to die. She is never awake when I am there, and the doctors say she is only awake for about 5 minutes every couple of days. The problem is, I need her to sign a re-drafted will I wrote so I can get all of her stuff when she dies. Right now she has all of her money going to my bitch sister and her family. I don't have the time to sit there and watch her all day because I have better things to do. I need you to sit at the hospital and watch her in case she wakes up, and then make her sign the will. I will pay you $10 an hour for this job.
Thanks,
Tim
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
no thanks that is sick! show some sympathy you prick!
From Timmy Tucker to **********@gmail.com
Obviously I am not offering you enough money. I will pay you $15 an hour, but in return I need you to unplug her life support after you get her to sign the will.
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
YOU ARE FUCKING SICK I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL
From Timmy Tucker to **********@gmail.com
You clearly do not have the right mindset to enter the fast-paced industry of babysitting. I will find a babysitter that has a little bit more balls than you.
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
FUCK OFF
SO YOU WANT A PRIVATE JET
After last weeks impressive yacht bridges, we though we would continue on the theme with some of the worlds most exclusive private planes
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
1800'S FIT
Sexy pics from back in the day
YEAR BOOK
PIZZA DELIVERY
This is what happens when you give special instructions when ordering your pizza
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LIFE IN GIFS
1. Just Keep Walking and Don’t Look Back
2. Stay the Course
3. Act Natural
4. Scratch your nose (or stroke your chin)
5. Wait for Assistance
6. Keep Your Momentum
7. Just Hug It Out
8. Don’t Let It Phase You
9. Act Like You Meant To Do It
10. Follow Through By Any Means Necessary
11. Ride It Out and Hope for the Best
12. Make Light Of It
13. Be Nonchalant About The Whole Thing
14. Hope Nobody Saw It
15. Accept Defeat and Walk Away
JOKES
A young man had a lucky escape at a Linkin Park concert yesterday.
Some scaffolding collapsed and killed him before they came on.
Noel Edmonds,
Give me £100k or I will say you wanked me off on Swapshop.
Deal or no Deal ?
I was playing Football Manager on my PC when I was offered the Scotland job.
I knew it was a shit squad with no future, so I declined the offer.
I then put the phone down and got back to Football Manager.
David Cameron: "I look forward to working with Barack Obama for the next four years."
Two years, Dave, two years.
I went to give my boss a high 5 today during a meeting, but he swerved it..
so I turned it into a handstand to avoid looking stupid.
The Dark Knight (2008)
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Congratulations, Barack Obama.
I went to the Jobcentre earlier, to see if they had anything for me.
The girl said, 'We have a few positions in data entry.'
'Sorry,' I replied, 'but I can't use a computer.'
'You can't use a computer? In this day and age? Are you mentally handicapped?'
'No,' I replied, 'but it's one of my bail conditions.'
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