SESSION 85
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A short, swift, intense session this week folks, as Therapy Session's HQ has been busy trying to conquer the world.
Enjoy...
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A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week
JOKES
What do you get after you win a religious debate against a Muslim?
Death threats.
I asked members of the angry mob who had gathered outside Max Clifford's house, burning effigies and screaming "Scum", whether they were overreacting to unproven child abuse allegations.
"What child abuse allegations?" they asked.
I called the RSPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."
"That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
"I love you loads, honeypie." My wife said earlier.
"And I love you tons." I replied.
"What, no nickname for me?" She asked, disappointed.
Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.
Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs
Lady: How much per pack
Man: £10.00
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack cost £10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at £900. In one year, it would be £10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend £10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at £162,000 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your fucking Ferrari then?
My Jimmy Savile advent calendar is shit. The flaps only open from 1-16
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