We have some bad new folks. Firstly, Google is being a bitch as usually and is limiting the amount of images etc we can upload per session, so we will be reducing each episode slightly. This could actually do us a favour as we are getting a lot of complaints that Therapy Sessions is too big for their computers to handle! That's what all the ladies tell us!
Secondly; since we dropped the comics we have been racking our brains to find a suitable replacement and we think we've come up with it. Unfortunately it's SpaceDicks. Yes SpaceDicks! For those not in the know, its the 2012 version of rotton.com and steak and cheese of 10 years ago! Nasty shit bottom line, but still.... how could we not!
Enjoy...
SONG OF THE DAY
PICS
If you can't see the image properly, hold Ctrl and click on it
GIFS
If the GIF isn't moving, hold Ctrl and click on it
AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
WHOLE LOTTA DOSH
So you thought a fifty pound not was a lot. Check out these bad boys
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
WHOLE LOTTA DOSH
So you thought a fifty pound not was a lot. Check out these bad boys
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
summer nanny/babysitter needed!!
must watch and entertain kids during the summer. there are ten kids, ages 7 to 9. preferrably looking for a school teacher off for the summer to teach the kids and provide fun activities.
From Mike Partlow to ***********@**********.org
Hello,
I am Staff Sgt. Mike Partlow and I am on a six month leave. I have nothing to do back in the states, and watching your kids sounds like fun. I love kids. I have plenty of activities for them and assure you they will always be kept busy. Let me know if you are interested and we can discuss pay.
Thanks,
SSG Partlow
From Donna ******** to Me
Mr. Partlow,
Thanks for responding! I am interested. Do you have any previous experience with kids? What kind of activities would you do? I am looking for something fun and eductational, and some sports for the boys.
-Donna
From Mike Partlow to Donna **********
Donna,
I have lots of experience with kids from my time in the Middle East. I can teach my expertise to your kids through fun games and activities. I can teach them basic weapons training, close quarters combat, explosive ordinance disposal, and hand-to-hand combat. They will have a blast! I will provide the firearms but I would prefer if you pay for the ammunition. I can make the activities fun and educational. Kids really seem to enjoy basic weapons training when you put it in terms they can understand, for example, I used to teach the Middle Eastern kids how to accurately fire an M203 by a modified version of "pin the tail on the donkey." Instead of a tail, it was a 40mm grenade, and instead of "pinning" it, they fired it from a safe distance. I assure you that safety is my number one concern with the kids, but also, them having fun is my top priority.
SSG Partlow
From Donna ******** to Me
Is this a joke? You realize these kids are mostly 7 years old, right?
From Mike Partlow to Donna **********
Donna,
It is never too early to teach your children these basic life skills. I am aware that they are young and will adjust my program accordingly. We will be mostly using the 5.56mm M16A2, which is a great weapon for children. It is gas operated, so the recoil is minimal, making it a perfect gun for children to use. So what were you thinking as far as pay goes? I don't mean to cut to the chase, but I really need a job.
SSG Partlow
From Donna ******** to Me
This is absurd. I really hope you aren't serious.
I am not interested. Thanks.
From Mike Partlow to Donna **********
Donna,
I am sorry that you are not interested. You may regret this if your child is ever put in a close quarters combat situation, and doesn't even know how to pop a magazine in his rifle.
If you change your mind and decide you want your kids to grow up to be men, not pussies, let me know.
SSG Partlow
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
NORTH KOREA PROPAGANDA
They don't know how to launch a missile but by golly do they know how to make a blooming good poster to keep the masses happy
“When provoking a war of aggression, we will hit back, beginning with the US!”
“Wicked Man.”
“Though the dog barks, the procession moves on!”
“Death to US imperialists, our sworn enemy!”
“Prevention and more prevention. Let’s fully establish a veterinary system for the prevention of epidemics!”
“Let’s drive the US imperialists out and reunite the fatherland!”
“Let’s extensively raise goats in all families!”
“The US is truly an Axis of Evil.”
“Do not forget the US imperialist wolves!”
“When we say we will, we will. We do not talk idly!”
NORTH KOREA PROPAGANDA
They don't know how to launch a missile but by golly do they know how to make a blooming good poster to keep the masses happy
“Wicked Man.”
GOLDMAN SACHS
Things heard in the Goldman Sachs elevators do not stay in the Goldman Sachs elevators. It takes a certain type of person to thrive at GS. Here is an insight to what the 1% think.
There are more Porsche Cayennes registered in Greece than taxpayers declaring income of 50k Euros or more
#1: The Euro is dead. They're just bickering over who pays for the funeral.
#1: The Euro is dead. They're just bickering over who pays for the funeral.
#1: People with beards are mostly sociopaths. Corzine, Bernanke, Krugman. #2 (laughs): Chaz Bono.
#1: If we're being politically correct these days, I'd love to see a multi-racial, slightly obese nativity scene somewhere this year.
#1: Nothing says 1% like a navy pinstripe, two vents, no pleats. Gucci loafers. #2: 1% riot gear.
#1: Occupy Wall Street should leave us alone and take on pop culture. Go after the people that put on a $10 million TV wedding.
#1: ___ _______ _________? #2: Probably, but Morgan Stanley was left lead
#1: Walking around the protesters outside makes me feel like how a black guy must feel in the gym shower.
#1: 1% of the private sector are millionaires, but 50% of congress is? #2: Yup. Those idiots are protesting the wrong crooks.
#1: The only reason I have a home phone is so I can find my cell phone. #2: Our maid does that.
PHILOSOPHY OF THE WEEK
Here's the deal. There is a dude on YouTube called Jay Herrod who's life mission is to upload weird videos of himself giving the world advice. Here is this weeks...
PHOTOFAIL
When Photoshop goes wrong
SMART ARSE LEO
Some scans from Da Vinci's journal. Clever bean was he
FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week
SPACEDICKS
God help us. A collection of what the net is actually good for... Fucked up shit in all its forms
SPACEDICKS
God help us. A collection of what the net is actually good for... Fucked up shit in all its forms
JOKES
My mate died after taking an E.
Countdown's security staff don't fuck about.
My wife has become very insecure in her middle age.
"I'm so jealous of you," she said. "You're still good looking and full of confidence."
"Don't be silly," I replied. "It should be me who is jealous of you."
"Really?" she asked, as her face lit up.
"Of course," I said. "You get to be married to me. I'm stuck with a fat arsed, miserable bitch."
My girlfriend wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat.
My mate told me that they are really expensive,
So I've bought 2 normal cats and glued their heads together.
My girlfriend is pregnant, so we got the big book of names out.
To try and find the dad.
I was going through the Channel Tunnel the other day.
"I guess this means I've failed" I said to the driving examiner.
Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's Furniture Emporium..
Me and my dad can't play Jenga because of the 9/11 attacks.
He was killed instantly when the first plane hit.
Countdown's security staff don't fuck about.
My wife has become very insecure in her middle age.
"I'm so jealous of you," she said. "You're still good looking and full of confidence."
"Don't be silly," I replied. "It should be me who is jealous of you."
"Really?" she asked, as her face lit up.
"Of course," I said. "You get to be married to me. I'm stuck with a fat arsed, miserable bitch."
My girlfriend wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat.
My mate told me that they are really expensive,
So I've bought 2 normal cats and glued their heads together.
My girlfriend is pregnant, so we got the big book of names out.
To try and find the dad.
I was going through the Channel Tunnel the other day.
"I guess this means I've failed" I said to the driving examiner.
Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's Furniture Emporium..
Me and my dad can't play Jenga because of the 9/11 attacks.
He was killed instantly when the first plane hit.
VIDEOS
ENJOY THE SUN!!! IF YOU GET ANY
No comments:
Post a Comment