So we have bought up www.therapy-sessions.co.uk and finally a big bastard microphone turned up for us, so we are one step close to being free from Google's clutches and also introducing a podcast for Therapy Sessions of some variety. Don't hold your breath that it will be any time soon, we still need to build a website which none of us here at Therapy Session HQ knows how to do though we did just buy a book on HTML and CSS so who knows.
Anyways, a great sessions lined up so sit back, relax, and enjoy the show
Oh, and don't forget to join the Facebook group by clicking the link below.
SONG OF THE DAY
PICS
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GIFS
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AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING
We did this a few sessions back, and we had a load of emails asking for more. So here you go
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING
We did this a few sessions back, and we had a load of emails asking for more. So here you go
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
WE ARE A MOVING COMPANY LOOKING FOR WORK. WILL BE ABLE TO HAUL ANYTHING IN OUR TRUCK WHERE YOU NEED IT
From Timmy Tucker to ********@*********.org
Hi there! I saw your ad about hauling and I would have some work for you. I live in Bedford Hills, and currently do not have a car. I have a regular craving for Taco Bell, however the closest one is in Yorktown Heights. I would be willing to pay you $10 per trip to pick me up 2 cheesy gordita crunches, a steak quesidilla and a pepsi, and haul it to my residence. I'll even tip you with a soft taco if the service is speedy.
Let me know if you are interested.
Thanks!
-Tim
From MOVING to Me
THATS FUNNY YOU NED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO LIVES NEAR YOU WITH A BICYCLE I LIVE IN ASTORIA NY
From Timmy Tucker to MOVING
astoria is not that far, but for your efforts I will offer $15 per trip.
From MOVING to Me
STOP BEING AN ASHOLE OK GO HIRE SOME KID AND TIP HIM YOU $15 THIS IS A MOVING COMPANY
From Timmy Tucker to MOVING
I'm not going to pay some kid on a bike to get my food to me in the freezing cold. I want my food warm, delivered from a professional truck hauling service. What does it matter what you move? How about you put my food in a giant insulated box so you can feel like you are using your F150 to its full hauling potential?
From MOVING to Me
funny i know your not looking for food from taco bell i saw your ad on cl in the labor section before ok.
if you really eat that crap its no wonder your nuts
ye i am gonna spend $20 on gas to make $15 why dont you try hirng a cook or ordering from a place that delivers?
From Timmy Tucker to MOVING
I never posted an ad on there before. and taco bell is suprisingly healthy. i dont want some cook who will spit in my food, and i dont want some delivery guy that will spit in my pizza. i trust taco bell. and $20 for gas? yeah, right. bedford hills is only like 40 miles from astoria. and gas is cheap.
From MOVING to Me
taco bell the cheese isnt even real its plastic yoru better off eating spit
do you know how inexpensive it is to make a taco i make my own tacos are you fat?
From Timmy Tucker to MOVING
that cheese is delicious and authentic. i dont want to make my own taco, i want authentic mexican. where am i supposed to get grade A beef like taco bell anyway? and how the hell am i supposed to know how to make my own taco anyway? what am i, a woman? i didnt realize i was dealing with martha stewart here.
From MOVING to Me
no i think martha stewart is well what she is but you are what you are kinda an idiot do you really think its grade a beef and good cheese because no i think your not even eating that crap?
dont you know what trans fat is? the cheese is plastic i eat there and when it falls on the floor of my truck it dont get moldy like real cheese it gets hard like a piece of plastic. and i can hardly call myself a cook but i try to make basics. opening up a can of beans and heating up a totilla shell isnt martha stewart and who says martha can cook anyways?
From MOVING to Me
listen timmy tucker stupid mother fuck why dont you get yur mom to let her use her bun and put it in there with some mustard and eat it!
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
CV
Back in the real world, I deal with people sending me their CV's everyday looking to 'make it big' and 99% of them are full blown retards! Below is a selection of unique resumes that would definitely get them an interview at least!
CV
Back in the real world, I deal with people sending me their CV's everyday looking to 'make it big' and 99% of them are full blown retards! Below is a selection of unique resumes that would definitely get them an interview at least!
GOLDMAN SACHS
Things heard in the Goldman Sachs elevators do not stay in the Goldman Sachs elevators. It takes a certain type of person to thrive at GS. Here is an insight to what the 1% think.
#1: No one should walk a mile in my shoes. Pradas get scuffed up easily.
#1: Everybody should live abroad for long enough to stop wearing khaki pants.
#1: Everybody should live abroad for long enough to stop wearing khaki pants.
#1: A year from now, he'll be the guy that starts off every sentence with 'When I was at Goldman Sachs…' #2: I hate those people.
#1: Wives & Girlfriends are temporary. Ex-Wives & Ex-Girlfriends last forever. #2: Who said that? #1: Kenny Powers.
#1: I think she's a hardcore liberal. She's always talking about shit she reads on Gawker. #2: Dump her.
#1: Getting laid off from Goldman is like being traded by the Yankees. You'll probably still make millions, but it's just not the same.
#1: Pomegranate juice is the shit. #2: You know that doesn't automatically cancel out all the bad things that you put in your body.
A#1: I didn't go to bed last night. A#2: Can't be that busy? A#1: Nah dude. New Call of Duty.
[Attractive Skirt exits. 2 Suits exchange glances.] #1: Great minds think alike. #2: So do dirty ones.
#1: Age is just a number. The more important number is how hot she is out of 10.
PHILOSOPHY OF THE WEEK
Here's the deal. There is a dude on YouTube called Jay Herrod who's life mission is to upload weird videos of himself giving the world advice. Here is this weeks...
CHART SONGS
In short, songs, their lyrics and meanings put through Excel
SPOT THE BLOKE
Simple game, each image has two people, one is a chick, one is not. Can you guess which is which. Some are easier than others
FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week
SPACEDICKS
God help us. A collection of what the net is actually good for... Fucked up shit in all its forms
SPACEDICKS
God help us. A collection of what the net is actually good for... Fucked up shit in all its forms
JOKES
They say one in every four men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends.
I hope it's Michael - he's super cute.
Porn has ruined my life.
My boiler has gone and I'm scared to call the plumber.
If I had a pound for every time I thought about my wife,
I'd probably start thinking about her.
Good thing nigger rhymes with nigger or Lil Wayne would be out of a job.
My son said, "Dad, can I start going ballroom dancing?"
I said, "No, it's too dangerous."
He said, "Why is it?"
I said, "Because I'll break your legs, you fucking little poof."
Somewhere, there's a turf war going on between skeletons and secret gays.
I wasn't sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shat myself.
They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction.
My money's on Dave.
VIDEOS
DO SOMETHING EPIC THIS WEEKEND
