Friday 28 October 2011

Session 27 - Halloween Special Therapy








Okay so it's Halloween, so we have decided to put in a load of "halloweenesque" shit in to keep you mugs happy.

We also have a whole new section now on txt messages! Aren't we cool...

Anyways, make the most of the weekend, get drunk, get high, get low, and get with a stranger and enjoy...



SONG OF THE DAY





PICS
If you can't see the image properly, click on it



So true



You have been told



Obey the computer woman



Does what she says on the tin



fuck science



Gotta love KFC



Who doesn't like it marinated



niggar please



oh dear



Giggity



WTF



Not big, but huge



I want one



Do it bitch



Isn't there always



WTF



Good man



Many a morning after the night before



Why



The personal touch always means more!



cool



take that people who aren't exactly the same as me



Whoops



Shit storm



lol



I have one of these somewhere



For the love of everything pure, why!!!!!



CUNT!!!!



Nice



FAIL



For free you say...



Sign me up



you know which one you are



Math mother fucker



Clearly not!



happy happy joy joy



How is this family pic allowed!



Genius



FTW - Funniest thing I saw all week



Who doesn't





GIFS
If the GIF isn't moving, click on it



Nice








This is why Mike will always be the king








'av it!








Jammy mother fucker!








spin








Hazards of the work place








WHY








I can think of some uses for that!








The new hit game








lol








All babies look like this to me, evil little shits!








Racist!








Holy Fuck








It's only fair








Take that asshole



HALLOWEEN SHIT
A collection of crap to do with Halloween 


































AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!














EMAIL
Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached




From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.





From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached






FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook















25 IMAGES THAT CHANGED THE WORLD
Below are 25 images that changed the world, some for better, some for worse. Enjoy



TEH GREAT DEPRESSSION
 This image of Florence Thompson from the 1930s came to be associated with the great depression, for years to come. Thompson was a poor migrant mother at the time, like so many others. The expressions of worry and anguish on her face, literally speak of the mood of thousands of others during the same time. The image has been reprinted in various magazines, newspapers and journals over the years. It has become a symbol of sorts, of the great depression.









 ABE SMITH AND TOM SHIPP
 Abe Smith and Tom Shipp were convicted of robbery and rape in 1930. A crowd broke into the jailhouse, and lynched and hanged them on the 7th of August 1930. Smith tried to free him self from the noose, following which he was lowered and his hands were broken. This image stands in remembrance of the injustice of racism, where these two African American youths were taken out of their jails, to be given a more severe than agreed upon punishment.









 JESSE OWENS
 Jesse Owens was the most successful athlete in the 1936 Olympics. At a time when the Nazi authorities in Berlin were propagating Aryan supremacy, Jesse Owens’ superb performance was looked upon as a fitting answer to Adolf Hitler. This image, put into context, speaks volumes of Owens’ timely victories.









 MOMENT OF DEATH
 This image of militiaman Federico Borrell Garcia, captures the precise moment of his death. This was during the Spanish civil war, on the 5th of September, 1936. Sometimes photojournalists need to be prepared to photograph a decisive moment, and expect it to occur just before it actually does! Almost uncanny, but true some photographers do seem to have this gift of being in the right place at the right time.









 HINDENBURG
 Airship Hindenburg ignites as it tries to dock into its mooring mast. This 1937 disaster resulted in the loss of 35 lives, and a subsequent loss of confidence in the airship. The incident marked the end of the air ship era. Needless to say, this image is associated to not just the air disaster, but also with the end of air ship travel as people knew it at the time.









 FALL OF NAZI COLLABORATORS
 France was liberated in 1944, and women accused of having been collaborated with Nazi personnel, are humiliated in public. This may seem like a war crime to todays’ audience, but during a time when people were overjoyed at seeing the Nazis leave, this image would have evoked feelings of victory.









 IWO JIMA
 One of the most popular news images of all time – US Marines from the 28th Regiment 5th Div, raise the flag of the United States on Mount Iwo Jima, 1945. This was following the famous Battle of Iwo Jima which has been written and spoken about more than most other battles of WW2. Following this, the United States occupied the island of Iwo Jima until 1968!









 THE ATOM BOMB




The infamous mushroom cloud, an after effect of an atomic explosion over land… This was the first time the atom bomb was used in warfare. The bomb over Hiroshima more or less put an end to the Second World War. Here, the mushroom cloud as seen over Hiroshima Aug 6, 1945. The image is remembered even today, as a terrifying beauty that the world never wants to see again.









SKYMASTER
 A United States Air Force C-54 “Skymaster” airplane comes in to land at Templehoff Air Base during the Soviet blockade of Berlin, in 1948.









 NEWSPAPER BLUNDER
 This is probably the world’s most famous newspaper error! President Elect Harry Truman was expected to lose the presidential elections in 1948. Here, he is seen holding a copy of the ‘Tribune’, with its bold headlines – ‘Dewey Defeats Truman’. This image is a grim reminder to journalists, of the importance of verifying information on breaking news stories. The ‘Tribune’ is believed to have adopted an anti-Truman attitude during the elections.









 RACISM, 1957
 Dorothy Counts was the first black student to be enrolled into Harding High School, Carolina. This 1957 image gives us an idea of the taunts and unnecessary humiliation she had to face during the time. What was once accepted as a part of social behavior is today rightly condemned as racism. This image reminds us of what society was like, not too long ago.









 SAIGON UNREST
 June 11, 1963. A Buddhist monk by the name of Thic Quang Duc ignites himself on a street of Saigon. This was following a series of events that seemed to target the monks and persecute them for little or no reason. The image has been reprinted many times over the decades, speaking of the possible terrible outcomes of unwarranted persecutions on innocent people.









 MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
 Martin Luther King Jr. giving his famous ‘I Have a Dream’ speech. This 17-minute speech called for an end to racism, and a beginning to equality. The speech was given on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on Aug 28, 1963. It is remembered to this day as one of the most effective speeches ever.









 JFK FUNERAL
 John F Kennedy is arguably the most popular American president ever. This image shows his family in mourning at his funeral on Nov 25, 1963. The photograph captured the mood of the American people as a whole, and has appeared in print many times over the years.









 SAIGON WAR CRIME
This is another image that the world remembers from the Saigon area. The police chief of South Vietnam is seen firing a pistol at the head of a man suspected of being an officer from the Viet Cong. Feb 1, 1968. The image is a fitting example of a war crime, another reminder of the unnecessary atrocities that possibly innocent civilians could suffer at the hands of police and military officials.









MAN ON THE MOON
 Few images we have seen, or will ever see, can have this much impact! Photographed on the lunar surface, this image depicts astronaut Buzz Aldrin, standing next to the flag of the United States, in July 1969.









 ROMAN POLANSKI
 One of the most respected film directors of our times, Roman Polanski is seen here sitting at the bloodied porch of his home on Aug 1, 1969. This was following the brutal murder of his wife, by Charles Manson followers.









 ANTI-WAR DEMONSTRATION, 1970
 Student Mary Ann Vecchio is seen here kneeling near the body of another student by the name of Jeffrey Miller. The anti-war demonstrations by students of the Kent State University went terribly out of hand on May 4, 1970. This image stands to remind us what a seemingly harmless demonstration, even for the right cause, can turn into when uncontrolled.









 PRESIDENT NIXON
 President Nixon standing on the steps of Marine One, waves to his fans soon after he resigned as President on August 9, 1974. No prizes for guessing the headlines across newspapers on the 10th Of August.









 TIANANMEN SQUARE
 Tanks rolling into China’s Tiananmen Square (Beijing). This came as a result of student pro-democracy protests in 1989.









 DEATH IN AFRICA
 March 1993, Sudan. A vulture watches a starving, dying child, probably awaiting its death. The image was subject to much criticism, some condemning photographer Kevin Carter for taking a photograph rather than helping the child. Carter always maintained that he shooed the vulture away after he took the photograph. He won a Pulitzer Prize for this image. Interestingly, Carter committed suicide soon after…









 THE FALLING MAN
 September 11, 2001. This day marked the worst terror attack on the United States. Here we see a person falling from the north tower of New York’s World Trade Center, after an aircraft collided into it.









 WAR CRIME
 As a result of the terror attacks on American soil, the United States declared a state of war. The war against terror led to US forces establishing presence first in Iraq and then in Afghanistan. This famous image shows an unidentified (probably Iraqi) detainee standing on a box with electrodes attached to his palms, and a bag over his head. The image resulted in adding fire to an already growing feeling of ‘ the US taking things too far’ in the Iraq region.









 HURRICANE KATRINA
Hurricane Katrina was one of the most catastrophic natural disasters the United States has ever witnessed. Here we see the garden district at New Orleans being victimized by vandalism after the hurricane. Sept 4, 2005.





HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
If you're going to a Halloween party this weekend, make sure you have a costume at least as half as good as these guys






















COMIC STRIP











































JOKES


To neigh or not to neigh.

That is equestrian.





I remember being told that everytime you shave it off, it grows back thicker.

Can't wait to see my new cock.






The last time I saw Man United fans get fucked this bad, Ian Huntley got put in prison for it.






Scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked.

I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.






I'll never forget the day I met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate.

They'd gone together, dressed as the number ten.

I knew there and then, she was the one.






One day the Pope was walking down an Italian road, when he spotted a black magic shop in an alleyway.

Curious, he decided to go inside and look around. As he approached the counter the woman behind told him they were doing a special on Voodoo Dolls.

The Pope thought for a few moments and told the woman he would like to buy one. She then informed him he would need to get the hair of the person he would like the doll to represent. He plucked some hair from his head and handed it over the counter. "You want a doll of yourself?" she asked. The Pope nodded and soon left with his doll.

The next day the Pope was visiting the victim of abuse at one of his churches. Producing the doll he said to the child, "Show me on the doll where the naughty priest touched you."






VIDEOS



























  
GO TRICK AND TREATING THIS WEEKEND, OR IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED NICK THE SWEATS OF THE KIDS WHO HAVE!!! ENJOY