Session 16

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Welcome to the all new and improved Therapy Sessions MKii. As you will notice we have given it a bit of a spring clean and spit polished it shoes ready to keep you laughing. We even have flowers now!!!! Who would of thought!

On to a more serious note, I very disappointed with the havoc that has been happening in the UK as of late. I see a lot of looting and rioting but no raping and pillaging! Shame on you, it's just not the same without a good raping and pillaging session. Sort it out!

As part of this new look there are going to be making some changes. Instead of just me making it up as we go along I think it is time we add some structure to this! So, from here on out this is what is going to be included in these Sessions:

40 Images
15 GIFs
10 Facebook status'
5 Comics
7 Jokes
5 Videos
1 Don't even reply article
and 2 special articles each week

I would also like to thank Madison who is currently creating a new banner for us, though her reading this is the first time she is aware of it. Cheers :)

Right then, we all know whats what, lets get on with the show

PICS

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GIFS

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WEIRD INVENTIONS

You'll notice how most of these have come out of Japan!! Fucked up bunch

DON'T EVEN REPLY

Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist

Original ad:
Humane "hav a heart" traps for kittens needed
There are some kittens in my neighborhood that need to find good homes. I need a trap 4 the cats to help bring them in. Please email me if you have a trap (and a heart)!

From Me to *********@********.org:

Hello,

Are you still looking for a trap for cats?

Mike

From Deb ******* to Me:

Yes I am can you help me?

From Me to Deb *******:

I most certainly can! I believe this trap is for those who want to "have a heart." I used it to catch a stray cat that kept coming into my garage. It is called the KittyHugger. All you have to do is put some cat food on the trigger, and when the cat comes to eat it, the trap gently contracts into a hugging position and comfortably hugs the cat until you come back to deal with the little guy. Please let me know if this will work.

Mike

From Deb ******* to Me:

Mike- I have never heard of a trap like that. I was referring to the "Havahart" traps...you know like the cages for animals?? Do you have any pictures of the trap? I'd like to see how it works before I get it. Thanks.

From Me to Deb *******:

Absolutely. I've attached a picture of it. Sorry if it is a little messy; I haven't cleaned the trap in a while.

Attachment:

From Deb ******* to Me:

YOU'RE SICK!

From Me to Deb *******:

Excuse me?

From Deb ******* to Me:

You killed that poor cat OMG

From Me to Deb *******:

I didn't kill the cat. I told you it was a little messy. The last cat I caught knocked over the bowl of juice I gave him so he wouldn't get thirsty. As you can see, it made quite the mess. I assure you this trap is 100% safe and humane.

From Deb ******* to Me:

IT OBVIOUSLY IS NOT SAFE. IT IS COVERED IN BLOOD

From Me to Deb *******:

You've clearly never seen a juice spill before. You have a twisted imagination if you think that is blood. I guess you don't want the trap.

Before you give up on me, I have one more trap you may be interested in. I actually think it is one of those Have a Heart traps you were talking about, though I've never heard it called that.

Please see the attachments. As you can see from the pictures, the kitty will have plenty of room to be safe and comfortable. It comes with a black tube at the end that is used to pump warm air into the cage to keep him warm while he waits to be released.

I'm sorry I didn't have time to clean the trap. It is still a little messy because the last cat I had in there spilled his bowl of juice and his cat food. It went everywhere!

Mike

Attachment:

From Deb ******* to Me:

Wow can't you read the ad you sick jerk? I DON'T WANT TO KILL THEM

How you managed to turn that trap into a bloody mess is a mystery to me but keep the hell away from me!!!

FACEBOOK

This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook

NO MAKEUP

Here are some pics of porn stars without makeup on! Thank fuck for Bobby Brown or porn would be horrific!

Crissy Moran

Phoenix Marie

Jenna Jameson

Stormy Daniels

Nina Mercedes

Natasha Nice

Tara Lynn Fox

Isis Taylor

COMIC STRIP

JOKES

Liverpool just bid for Carlos Tevez. Apparently they've offered 200 plasma TVs, 6 rolls of carpet and 72 pairs of Reebok Classics.



My wife walked in on an argument between our son and I. When he ran out of the room crying, I turned to the wife and said, "I wish I'd used a condom now."

Horrified, she said, "What? You wish our son had never been born?"

"No," I replied. "I've got his girlfriend pregnant."



It took me 3 bloody hours to clean up after the London riots.

That's the last time I'll be putting shoe polish on my face.




DVD piracy Ad: You wouldn't steal a television.

Evidently lots of people would.



Hazel Blears Sky News
..."People need to ask why are the children not at school"
Maybe because it is the school holidays?




Why did the riots stop after 4 days?

Because blacks never do a full weeks work.



Some of those kids nicking trainers look young enough to have made them.

VIDEOS

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HERE'S TO THE SUMMER



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