Therapy Sessions mkii: Session 24

http://twitter.com/TherapySession2

What a boring week, well at least we had some decent weather for it, now the skys have turned to shit again lets make the most of this. We have quite a few vids this week !!! Oh and some dude called Steve died apparently!

Enjoy

SONG OF THE DAY

This weeks song to help you endure the Therapy Sessions is from Corky and the Juice Pigs

PICS

If you can't see the image properly, click on it

You're doomed when Dawkings takes his glassess off!

It's happening

Just wait

Effective advertising

I need my Man Hole protected

Just the facts

Good man

Nap time

What you looking at?

Who the hell designed this!

Hey sexy

That's gotta hurt

Timing is everything

You belong to me!

A very happy story

You fucking knows it

D'Oh

After the shows end

Boo

That old chestnut

Why is this true!!

I might try this lol

Gangsta

Nature has its moments

You have been warned

Meanwhile in America

Thats my boy

Making babies even more sexier

gotcha

Handsfree

It could be worse, it could be crabs

Everyone is entitled to a hobby

I agree completly apart from the last statement

WTF

Whats werider, a big bloody quid in a parking space or the fact that it has a drink with him!

Telling them straight

Should of gone to specsavers!

At least this owner knows she is driving a toy car!

With a rich buttery taste no less

lol

GIFS

If the GIF isn't moving, click on it

wipeout

Wheres Batman when you need him

Cool timelapse

Have you ever loved a slipper that much

FAIL

Are you a red or blue type of person?

I believe I can fly

Fuck that!

Hot brass in the eye... Nice

Must try

bye bye Charlie

tit

A real life lightcycle!

Chuck Norris on his day off

He is only one of 4 people in the world who can do this

ASIANS ARE A WEIRD BUNCH
What is it about Japs and Asians that make them do shit like this!

DON'T EVEN REPLY

Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist

Original ad:
Do not Use Lenny the Mechanic: He has an ad on here for car repairs and I asked him to fix my blown head gasket. He showed up to my house, broke a bunch of parts and left. He has been avoiding me ever since. DO NOT USE THIS GUY.
Lenny, if you are reading this, you owe me an explanation.

From Me to ***************@***********.org:

Hey,

My apologies for bailing on your car. I know I have been hard to contact; I lost my phone and had to get a new e-mail address. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make it up to you.

Lenny

From **********@gmail.com to Me:

You could start by explaining yourself...

From Me to **********@gmail.com:

Well, I was pretty baked when I showed up, and I had just eaten a bag of shrooms and taken three hits of acid. I thought I would be able to fix your car before the shrooms and acid kicked in, but I was wrong. While I was disconnecting the sensors, I started tripping pretty hard. At one point it looked like the intake manifold was laughing at me. I freaked out and bashed it with a socket wrench, and then ran back to my car and got the hell out of there. I'm not sure what happened after that. The next thing I remember is waking up naked in a church confessional booth two days later. When I got back to my house, the State Police were there and told me they found my car abandoned in a car wash about 50 miles away. Needless to say, it has been a crazy weekend for me. That is why I was unable to fix your car.

From **********@gmail.com to Me:

Uh...not sure what to take from all that. You deemed it a good idea to take drugs before working on my car because...why?

From Me to **********@gmail.com:

Honestly I forgot I had to work on your car. I remembered after I took the shrooms and acid. Once I get my car back from the police, I should be able to come over and finish working on your car. Oh by the way, sorry about the dump I took on your lawn. I was too embarrassed to go inside and ask to use the bathroom because it would have been obvious that I was tripping.

From **********@gmail.com to Me:

Unbelievable. I don't want you to do any more work on my car. I do want you to pay for the damage you did to my car. If you don't, I will take you to small claims court.

From Me to **********@gmail.com:

Whoa man, why are you being such a dick? Not cool. If anything, you should be paying me. I seriously fucked up my hand when I hit your intake manifold with the wrench. It feels like I fractured it. I don't have any health insurance, and seeing as I got injured under your employment, I think you are obligated to pay for my medical bills.

From **********@gmail.com to Me:

Not a chance in hell. I think all those drugs you took fried your brain - you're fucked in the head if you think any of this is acceptable. If you don't pay the damages, we are going to have a problem.

From Me to **********@gmail.com:

I have another eighth of shrooms I can give you...will that cover it?

From Me to **********@gmail.com:

I'll take that as a yes?

FACEBOOK

This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook

LAST WORDS
A collection of last words from men who were executed in the US

"I wish this would bring her back. I want you to know that I'm very sorry this ever happened. I knew it was wrong but it was alcohol, despair and temper that caused it. That's it."

—Gerald James Holland, executed in Mississippi on May 20, 2010

"I would like to say the Lord's Prayer. If anyone would like to join in, please do so. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. Thank you warden—I'm sorry—commissioner."

—Paul Everette Woodward, executed in Mississippi on May 19, 2010

"I was in there now thinking about how we grew up. You know how we grew up in the same house. We need to start loving each other like we used to. I'm going to be OK. Y'all take care of yourself ... May God have mercy on my soul." As the lethal injection began, Cannady continued,"I thought it was going to be harder than this. I am ready to go. I'm going to sleep now. I can feel it. It's affecting me."

—Rogelio Reyes Cannady, executed in Texas on May 19, 2010

"If I can go back and change the past, I would. There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry. I love you, Adonya. That's it."

—Billy John Galloway, executed in Texas on May 13, 2010

Michael Beuke prayed the entire Rosary, consisting of more than 60 separate prayers, taking 17 minutes, more than twice as long as the previously longest final words on record in Ohio.

—Michael Beuke, executed in Ohio on May 13, 2010

God loves me and God loves you. I am ready to go. God please take me home..Thank you Jesus. I am going, Mom."

—Kevin Varga, executed in Texas on May 12, 2010

"Samantha, I love you with all my heart and soul. Cori, thanks for everything. Make sure my princess is all right. Death before dishonor. Cori, I think you should continue with criminal law. It's your decision. They need lawyers out there that will fight. Death before dishonor. Warden, let her rip. Thank you for coming, Irene."

—William Josef Berkley, executed in Texas on April 22, 2010

"To the Vincent family who I believe are here and who believe I have caused so much pain and believe I have murdered their daughter, I am truly sorry you believe that way, having been through that pain myself. I had hoped DNA testing would allow me to prove my innocence, but unfortunately, that's not going to happen. To my momma minister, we are born in this life in struggle and I planned to go out in a struggle, but I want to make you proud. I'll go out in peace. To my cousin, please take care of my children. Tell my children and my wife I love them. To my wife, I love her. It's been 20 years in this life and I will see her in the next life."

—Darryl Durr, executed in Ohio April 20, 2010

"I am not the monster they made me out to be. I made lots of mistakes that took your son. I messed up, made poor choices. I'll take it to the grave, I will be at peace. It is what it is. I got peace in my heart."

—Franklin DeWayne Alix, executed in Texas on March 30, 2010

"I came in like a lion and go out like a lamb. Erin and Emma will forever and always hold the heart of the lion. To my brothers, I hope they will never have to walk these 15 steps I walked today. I have tried to bring attention to the futility and flagrantly flawed system we have today. Stop the madness."

—Lawrence Raymond Reynolds Jr., executed in Ohio on March 16, 2010

COMIC STRIP