Therapy Sessions mkii: Session 20

http://twitter.com/TherapySession2

Session 20.... It only seems like 20 weeks ago we started this thing.... Anyways, no bitchin', its on time and as shit as usual

Enjoy

PICS

If you can't see the image properly, click on it

You have been warned

I knew it

Nice

No wonder Yanks think soccer is gay!

The Nickelodeon Green Room

Rockin'

You know you are going to try this!

Some people are too smart

Pimping

This would be the only time I get a dog

nice

The solution to life's little problems

Whoops

RIP

A very caring man

I should photoshop the jar away and place a turd me thinks!

You women know its true!

Genius

to me, to you,

What a great solution

busted!

err...

Yeah homie

go figure

why wouldn't you?

My generation

I would scrap the 1 and 2 if it was up to me

logic... who needs it

I think the most embarrassing part is that he has a rip in his boxers

no comment needed

gotta do what you gotta do right!

The only bill you want to see

I want to go dipping, don't you?

Batman in Brighton

true... true

It's a no brainer to me

I hate you

I want one

its like a joke.... but from Frasier!

This dude needs a girlfriend

GIFS

If the GIF isn't moving, click on it

go and try this right now

Skills!

peeping tom

wtf

that's how you KO someone

I love kids

Can you guess the faces

Valentino Garavani
Helen Mirren
Heath Ledger
Paris Hilton
Robert Downey Jr.
Cate Blanchett
Clint Eastwood
Angelina Jolie
Christopher Walken
George Clooney
Jack Nicholson
Justin Timberlake
Iggy Pop
Mickey Rourke
Zinedine Zidane
Mark Zuckerberg
Jay-Z
Dennis Hopper
Zach Galifanakis
Bill Murray
??? (Not Sure)
Colin Farrell

FAIL

black people are funny

miserable little shit

2 things; 1, why would you do this. 2, how can I get to do this

Could he be more pleased

why I oughta...

Work it sister

Mine!

FAILS
A collection of FAILS

DON'T EVEN REPLY

Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist

Original ad:
Free Graphic Design Needed
I need someone who wants to do some graphic design work to design an ad for my business in the local newspaper. Would look great for your portfolio. Email me if you can help. Thanks

From Me to *********@*********.org:

Hey there,

I am just starting my career as a graphic designer and have helped design several ads featured in various magazines. I would be happy to help you with your ad. Can you tell me what you had in mind?

Thanks,

Mike

From Lucy ******* to Me:

Hi Mike! I own a new hair salon for men called Sporty's Haircuts. The ad will be 2 inches by 4 inches and featured in the local newspaper. We don't have a logo or slogan. The ad simply needs to say the name of the business, and our address and phone number:

124 South ****** Ave
(***)-***-****

It needs to be attention-grabbing and also include a graphic related to haircuts. I don't have any images so you will have to design them. Please don't have anything boring (i.e. a graphic of scissors.)

Thank you so much for your help!

Lucy

From Me to Lucy *******:

Sounds good, Lucy. I'll get back to you within a day with the proposed ad for your review.

From Lucy ******* to Me:

Great. Thank you Mike!

From Me to Lucy *******:

Lucy,

I have attached the first draft of the ad. Please let me know what you think.

Mike

Attachment:

From Lucy ******* to Me:

Mike, I don't completely understand the ad. Could you please explain what you were going for with that graphic?

From Me to Lucy *******:

Lucy,

It is a man admiring his new haircut while a woman is crouching down to clean up the hair clippings on the floor below him.

Mike

From Lucy ******* to Me:

Oh. That’s not what think when I look at it. It looks very suggestive to me. Why is "downtown" and "service" in quotes?

From Me to Lucy *******:

How is that suggestive? The only thing it suggests to me is that I will be getting a very admirable haircut and quality service. The fact that the woman is already cleaning up the hair clippings while the man is still in the chair suggests that your store is quick, efficient, and clean.

Downtown is in quotes because it is short for Downtown *******, and I put "Service" in quotes to suggest that you will be getting much "more" than a haircut, such as helpful employees, great deals, and friendly smiles. If you do not offer great deals or friendly smiles, then I apologize for the mistake and will remove the quotes from around "Service." Otherwise, I don't understand what your problem is with the ad.

Mike

From Lucy ******* to Me:

Cut the BS, Mike. You know exactly what you did. Are you going to keep wasting my time or design the real ad?

From Me to Lucy *******:

Lucy, can you please explain why you are unhappy with the ad? I can't make changes if you are being so vague about everything. Would you like me to have the woman holding scissors and a hair comb?

Mike

From Lucy ******* to Me:

Leave me alone.

FACEBOOK

This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook

HOW RUDE
A selection of drawings that start off rude basically

COMIC STRIP

JOKES

I cried myself to sleep every night for 10 years until I found out that some cunt had stuffed my pillow with onions.

Wife: "When was the last time you gave me an orgasm?"

Husband: "Well this morning if I'm not mistaken."

Wife: "Yeah, in your dreams."

Husband: "No love. In your coffee actually."

When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a spider.

Just to hear the words "Oh my God, it's huge!"

We had to say goodbye to our German Shepherd yesterday.

Auf wiedersehen, pet.

I walked out of a club with a girl last night.

She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my cock and said, "Yours or mine?"

I said, "That's mine."

Herbal medicine.

Because thyme heals all wounds.

It looks like we've got a new postman.
He just laughed when he came through the gate that has a sign "Beware of the Cat".

Must be his first time delivering to Safari World.

VIDEOS