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Right then, this might be the last ever Therapy Sessions as it looks like the end of the world is next week, or at least a fuck off earthquake.... How cool would that be if it did happen, it would make me look like Nostradamus or something!!
Anyways, enjoy it the best you can and if we're about next week then we can all breathe a sigh of relief!
SONG OF THE DAY
Song of the day to help you bare the torment that is Therapy Sessions.
Song of the day to help you bare the torment that is Therapy Sessions.
PICS
If you can't see the image properly, click on it
I want this lightscycle
Remember this
It's true, the Irish have done it!
We have all been there!
Nature is always getting in the way of progress
Even animals get downs syndrome!
To infinity and beyond...
Got to love the Japanese culture. Get working bitch
The brother in Law... Enough said
Sounds fair enough
Who thinks up this shit!
Must... Kil... Air con...
Meth has its side affects
The top on is secretary if you were wondering
suite you sir
Simple, yet effective
I'll take pleasure in gutting you boy
Cat smack
WTF
Has this ever happened to you?
so true :(
lol
I can imagine it going down like that
Good girl
drugs are bad.... okayyyyyy
problems one has to deal with in life
oh dear...
boom boom
lucky bastard
Good girl, know your place
lol
miserable bitch
Someone really wanted to steal that bike!
Some people have far too much time on their hands
Sign me up
The future ex misses
You're looking at the wrong bit.... She still has floppy disk!!! why???
Is this similar to stone skimming
Uncalled for
The circle of life
GIFS
If the GIF isn't moving, click on it
lol
Are you worht it?
Spider cat
Must try this
Love on the court
whoops
what you looking at
You know you wish you tried this at school!
kitty loves its milk!
somewhat artistic
This would be better if the GIF was in reverse
WTF
SKills
Ouch
MUSIC MASHUP
A selection of re-works, mashups and other Tom foolery which actually makes these songs pretty good
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
We are in need of someone who can fix our hot tub. If you know what you are doing, it is probably a fairly easy fix. The hot tub is about 11 years old and has a cracked pipe and a broken pipe. Also, some of the jets are not working (may be related to the pipe). We will pay for the parts. Please respond with an estimate for the cost of labor.
From Me to ********@**********.org:
Hello,
I am a certified hot tub repair technician and would be happy to help fix your hot tub. Please let me know if you are still looking for someone.
Thanks,
Mike
From Ellen ****** to Me:
Mike,
How much will you charge to fix it?
Ellen
From Me to Ellen ******:
Helen,
It seems like a simple fix, but it will be time consuming. I could charge you money, but I am more interested in barter, if you are willing to hear me out.
Mike
From Ellen ****** to Me:
Mike,
What are you looking to barter?
ELLEN
From Me to Ellen ******:
Helen,
All I want in return for fixing your hot tub is to let me use it occasionally when I am on a date.
I find it much easier to get chicks from the bar to come back to my place if I tell them I have a hot tub. The problem is, I live in a basement apartment and do not have a hot tub. Hot tubs are great for getting chicks drunk; something about drinking in a hot tub makes them get completely shitfaced without even knowing it. I don't know the science behind it, but it is a proven fact that bitches get more drunk in a hot tub. Before you know it, these chicks are passed out drunk and ready to fuck.
Don't worry, I won't need to use your house or anything when I get my fuck on; I usually just bang them in the back of my truck and drop them off at a McDonalds.
So basically, in return for fixing your hot tub, all I ask is that you let me use it for 2-3 hours about four or five times a week.
Please let me know if this sounds fair to you.
Mike
From Ellen ****** to Me:
Absolutely not. Are you joking?
ELLEN
From Me to Ellen ******:
Helen,
Why not? I promise I won't pee in the hot tub. If I accidentally do, I promise I will add extra chlorine to balance out the urine levels. I won't shit in your hot tub either. If I have to take a shit, I'll do it in your bushes. Shit makes for great fertilizer.
Please help me out here. I can't use the old hot tub I used to go to because I was informed that I would be arrested if I stepped foot on that property again. I assure you I will have your hot tub running like new once I fix it.
Mike
From Ellen ****** to Me:
The concern of you pissing in my hot tub didnt even cross my mind, but I'm just going to add that to the list of reasons why I am against this. Most importantly - I will not let some creep bring women back to my house to rape them in my hot tub!
From Me to Ellen ******:
Whoa there, who said anything about rape? This is purely consensual.
From Ellen ****** to Me:
You said you wait until they pass out to have sex with them!
From Me to Ellen ******:
In the state of Pennsylvania, the law states that if you can get the girl back to a hot tub, it is considered to be sexual consent.
Look Helen, I'm just trying to fix your hot tub. Not get a lecture on ethics. Do you want your hot tub fixed or not?
Mike
From Ellen ****** to Me:
Not by you, you creep! and my name is ELLEN not Helen, you fuck!
From Me to Ellen ******:
My apologies, Ellen. I assumed you had made a typo when writing out your name. Now how about answering my question?
From Ellen ****** to Me:
Go fuck yourself, loser.
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN
I wonder how many of these products that died a death you remember, let along forgot
I wonder how many of these products that died a death you remember, let along forgot
COMIC STRIP
JOKES
I fainted in the curry house when I heard REM had split up.
That's me in the korma.
Accidentally ran over and killed the neighbour's cat this morning.
With a chainsaw.
Is nothing built in Britain nowadays?
I got a new TV the other day and on the box it said it was 'BUILT IN ANTENNA'. I like this!
What's black and sleeps with my daughter?
Nothing, because I'm a good father.
As my wife and I lay in bed together, I felt the tension in the air.
She then folded her arms and huffed, "You never make the first move",
"Jesus!" I said as I rolled my eyes "Every night it's the same thing",
"Well you don't!" she moaned "It's always me and quite frankly I'm fed up with it. And before you start, it's nothing to do with you being black",
"It is" I said,
"No, it isn't" she said,
"You know what?" I said as I jumped out of the bed, "You can stick the fucking chessboard up your arse".
I saved my mistress' phone number as 'LOW BATTERY'.
Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the missus takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.
My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about pornography."
"What about it?" I replied.
"How the hell can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?"
That's me in the korma.
Accidentally ran over and killed the neighbour's cat this morning.
With a chainsaw.
Is nothing built in Britain nowadays?
I got a new TV the other day and on the box it said it was 'BUILT IN ANTENNA'. I like this!
What's black and sleeps with my daughter?
Nothing, because I'm a good father.
As my wife and I lay in bed together, I felt the tension in the air.
She then folded her arms and huffed, "You never make the first move",
"Jesus!" I said as I rolled my eyes "Every night it's the same thing",
"Well you don't!" she moaned "It's always me and quite frankly I'm fed up with it. And before you start, it's nothing to do with you being black",
"It is" I said,
"No, it isn't" she said,
"You know what?" I said as I jumped out of the bed, "You can stick the fucking chessboard up your arse".
I saved my mistress' phone number as 'LOW BATTERY'.
Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the missus takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.
My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about pornography."
"What about it?" I replied.
"How the hell can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?"
VIDEOS
For more videos, use the link below to our Therapy Session YouTube Page
SMILE AT A STRANGER THIS WEEKEND
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