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So here we are again. I must say we hit almost 12k viewers for last weeks thing!! You guys need a hobby or something!
Anyways, back to normal this week so make the most of it.
SONG OF THE DAY
In honour of the legend that was Jimmy Saville who died last week.
In honour of the legend that was Jimmy Saville who died last week.
PICS
If you can't see the image properly, click on it
Mr cool.... or not!
My bible
Who you gonna call...
Born again to eat your ass
That's how to roll
Oh yeah
Tug of war, ant style
A master collection
Fail
Give us a kiss
Tell the world why don't you
Smooth operator
Don't mess
Al Gore would be so disapointed
We have all been there!
I couldn't be botherd this year
Go try this!
Its not even the same specials, yet alone living!
The reason Americans are dicks!
Hats off
So true
Got to love childrens views of the world
Stairway to heaven maybe?
The fresh dairy taste of Homo
The reason Ebay was created
Yes, yes you can!
Perspective is a great thing
All that abuse for parking funny!
For some reason the bouncer wont let me in :(
Sing it... now!
Skills!
Can I have both?
The perfect couple for a night out!
Chump
I hate owners who treat their pets like this!
Who's the bitch now Tigger!
Gansta Gran
Why wouldn't you!
Loving it!
GIFS
If the GIF isn't moving, click on it
Alls fair in love and war
The sequal to men who stare at goats; goats who stare at goats!
Catch the peigon
Fucking idiot
tit
Striiiiiiiiiiiiiike
Ouch
Good morning
slightly jumpy aren't we?
don't mess
Loving the fading smile
Not even Chuck can look this cool
Eye anyone?
Lucky fucker
I want to be able to do this!
AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
I need a whole roll of carpet doesnt matter what kind will pay cash i need it fast
From Me to ***********@*************.org:
Hey,
Do you still need rolls of carpet? I have a deal worked out with a carpet wholesaler and can get you as many carpets as you need.
Thanks,
Mike
From *********@comcast.net to Me:
yeah I just need one how much do you want for it
From Me to *********@comcast.net:
I am asking $50 for the roll of carpet. It sounds like you also need some cleaning supplies. Luckily, I also sell gloves, mops, buckets, spray bottles, garbage bags, as well as disinfectants, odor removal chemicals, and enzyme solvents, in case you are interested in any of that.
Mike
From *********@comcast.net to Me:
what? I dont need any of that just the rug
From Me to *********@comcast.net:
Are you sure? It sounds like you need this rug to take care of a "problem", and you might want the cleaning supplies to clean up the rest of that problem.
Mike
From *********@comcast.net to Me:
my only problem is that i need this carpet and you are trying to sell me cleaning stuff
From Me to *********@comcast.net:
Look, you don't have to fool me. There is only one reason to urgently need a rug. It is pretty clear that you killed someone and need to get rid of them.
I've been there, man...whether it is a friend who overdosed on drugs, or a dead hooker, it is important that you clean everything up. You can't just roll them up in a carpet and forget about them. Don't worry, I can help you.
Mike
From *********@comcast.net to Me:
i didnt kill a hooker what the hell is wrong with you? i need the carpet for my apartment to replace my old stained carpet so i dont get screwed on my security deposit which is why i need it fast
From Me to *********@comcast.net:
Hey man, I'm not one to judge you. I understand that accidents happen. Maybe she didn't tell you when to stop choking her, or maybe you didn't realize that roofie you slipped in her Cosmo was actually cyanide. Either way, a dead hooker isn't the end of the world. Hookers die all the time; it comes with their line of work. The important thing is to stay calm and make sure that you clean everything up.
You have a good cover story with the security deposit. You are smart to get rid of the old blood-stained carpet, but you still will need my cleaning supplies. A small blood stain on the top of the rug is usually a much larger stain underneath the rug, and you can't simply put a new rug on top of it. With my dead hooker cleanup package, it comes with everything you need to clean up the "accident" and make it look like it never happened. The entire package, including the rug, will only cost you $100.
You should act soon before it is too late!
Mike
From *********@comcast.net to Me:
is everyone on craigslist this crazy or is it just you? all i want is the carpet and you are being a huge pain in my ass. ill find one from someone who isnt a goddamn psycho
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
SPECIAL 2
FAILS
A short selection of FAILS from around the world!
A short selection of FAILS from around the world!
COMIC STRIP
JOKES
It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.
A young lad knocked on the door last night and said "Trick or Treat?"
I said "What have you come as?"
He said "A werewolf."
I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes"
He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, dickhead?"
Cunt
I got so sick of the trick or treaters that I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in.
Fuck the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.
I opened my front door earlier to a bunch of hyper kids. They started screaming:
''Trick or treat, trick or treat, give us something good to eat; if you don't we don't care, we'll pull down your underwear!''
...as I slowly put the sweets back in my pocket.
I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.
6:31pm. My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Big Brother.
You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there?
That's God playing Sims, he just cancelled your action.
A young lad knocked on the door last night and said "Trick or Treat?"
I said "What have you come as?"
He said "A werewolf."
I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes"
He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, dickhead?"
Cunt
I got so sick of the trick or treaters that I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in.
Fuck the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.
I opened my front door earlier to a bunch of hyper kids. They started screaming:
''Trick or treat, trick or treat, give us something good to eat; if you don't we don't care, we'll pull down your underwear!''
...as I slowly put the sweets back in my pocket.
I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.
6:31pm. My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Big Brother.
You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there?
That's God playing Sims, he just cancelled your action.
VIDEOS
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