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Oi fuckheds, can you binjuices stop sending me letters of complaint! If your scared that your four year old retarded fuckwit of a child is going to see this then block the site!!!!!! Also, get a fucking dictionary and understand what the word comedy is!!! There is nothing racist/sexist/anti-semantic/homophobic or anything else about this! It's funny because its funny, this isn't a subtle front for the BNP! You're more fucked in the head than me if you think that some of the shit that is in here is to be considered as real or correct!! Get aids of the cunt and die. I'm in a right mind to do an episode just of your complaint letters, you pathetic peices of shit! If you want something to complain about, then click on these links thundercunts!
Anyways, rant over, blood pressure down. Enjoy...
SONG OF THE DAY
PICS
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This seems to be meeming quite heavily at the moment!
Shhhhh
Good use of an ear if you ask me!
The truth is out there
Whats new pissy cat
Story of my life :(
Bruce Lee as a kid!
Take that bitch
This isn't gay at all.........
Mr Ferdinand, your results are back
The motto of my life!
I blame him for Climate Change aswell
Honesty of children
nom nom nom
Look at the smile on her face
Darryl has issues
If you have ever lived in asia you will know this to be gospel
FAIL
The future
After the game
Black and white lawn chairs.... nice
How to OD your kid
Busted
That's just mean
Oh dear
Try this on a work mate
And the penny drops
Suck now god damn you
Youth of today
Disney setting good examples
A legend of the photo bomb world
Dare I ask
Freaky shit
Freak
Wrong wrong wrong
A night in Basildon isn't much different!
Jedward kill the day
Winning
Its so big it could be a ball sack!
What a Kunt
GIFS
If the GIF isn't moving, click on it
Do the Stewie
tit
Skills
Why isn't this game available on the PS3
This will leave a mark
WTF
I thought she would be used to taking a face load by now!
It's a hard life
My hero
lol
Nice try!
Who says you need legs
lmao
Ouch
Sounds about right
AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
DON'T EVEN REPLY
This week we have a geniune complaint letter from a passenger on a Virgin Atlantic flight. Unfortunatly we don't have the pics.
Dear Mr Branson
REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008
I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.
Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at thehands of your corporation.
Look at this Richard. Just look at it.
I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?
You don’t get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it’s next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That’s got to be the clue hasn’t it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas i.
I know it looks like a baaji but it’s in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you’ll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It’s only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.
Anyway, this is all irrelevant at the moment. I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what’s on offer.
I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat their with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.
Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this.
Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It’s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.
Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard.
By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it’s baffling presentation.
It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.
I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was relax but obviously I had to sit with that mess in front of me for half an hour. I swear the sponge shafts moved at one point.
Once cleared, I decided to relax with a bit of your world-famous onboard entertainment. I switched it on.
I apologise for the quality of the photo, it’s just it was incredibly hard to capture Boris Johnson’s face through the flickering white lines running up and down the screen. Perhaps it would be better on another channel.
Is that Ray Liotta? A question I found myself asking over and over again throughout the gruelling half-hour I attempted to watch the film like this. After that I switched off. I’d had enough. I was the hungriest I’d been in my adult life and I had a splitting headache from squinting at a crackling screen.
My only option was to simply stare at the seat in front and wait for either food, or sleep. Neither came for an incredibly long time. But when it did it surpassed my wildest expectations.
Yes! It’s another crime-scene cookie. Only this time you dunk it in the white stuff.
Richard…. What is that white stuff? It looked like it was going to be yoghurt. It finally dawned on me what it was after staring at it. It was a mixture between the Baaji custard and the Mustard sauce. It reminded me of my first week at university. I had overheard that you could make a drink by mixing vodka and refreshers. I lied to my new friends and told them I’d done it loads of times. When I attempted to make the drink in a big bowl it formed a cheese Richard, a cheese. That cheese looked a lot like your baaji-mustard.
So that was that Richard. I didn’t eat a bloody thing. My only question is: How can you live like this? I can’t imagine what dinner round your house is like, it must be like something out of a nature documentary.
As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It’s just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it’s knees and begging for sustenance.
Yours Sincererly
XXXX
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
WEIRD PHOTOGRAPHY
This shit is by some 21yr old out of Finland with a unique view
This shit is by some 21yr old out of Finland with a unique view
FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week
COMIC STRIP
JOKES
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a bottle of malt whisky...
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love said to me, "Where the fuck have you been for the last 3 days?"
I bought a new guard dog yesterday.
It's useless, it lets anybody in.
Fucking UK border collie.
Some Scouse cunts wrote "mong" all over my windows last night.
It took me ages to lick it off.
Africans have the best drinking games.
Like, "The last one to find water dies"...
Daniel Radcliffe has revealed that he was "dependent on alcohol" to make it through the final Harry Potter films.
That makes two of us
Facebook should have a limit on the number of times people can change their relationship status.
After five, it ought to default to "Unstable"
I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don't get any disgusted looks.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love said to me, "Where the fuck have you been for the last 3 days?"
I bought a new guard dog yesterday.
It's useless, it lets anybody in.
Fucking UK border collie.
Some Scouse cunts wrote "mong" all over my windows last night.
It took me ages to lick it off.
Africans have the best drinking games.
Like, "The last one to find water dies"...
Daniel Radcliffe has revealed that he was "dependent on alcohol" to make it through the final Harry Potter films.
That makes two of us
Facebook should have a limit on the number of times people can change their relationship status.
After five, it ought to default to "Unstable"
I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don't get any disgusted looks.
VIDEOS
HAVE A BLINDER
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