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Back again I see! Well we have another good dose of Internet shit lined up for you, so sit back, relax and enjoy the madness.
We now have a Facebook group page thing! Join up by clicking here. All our pics and shit from Therapy Sessions will be added to this Facebook page, so join up and if you find anything funny or interesting, post it on there for the world to see.
Remember, BritPod 100 has been released, have a listen by clicking here
Enjoy...
SONG OF THE DAY
This week we have some Latino guitar skills to enjoy Therapy Sessions with!
This week we have some Latino guitar skills to enjoy Therapy Sessions with!
PICS
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GIFS
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AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
No strings attached - dinner wine whatever?
I am a nice woman just looking for a good time. Come over and drink and we can watch a movie and see where it goes from there ;)
From Me to **********@********.org:
Hey!
I live in the area and am also looking for a good time with no strings attached. I am a 37 year old man who just likes having some fun. How about you come over and we watch a movie and have some wine? You down?
Mike
From Karen ******** to Me:
Hi mike! Of course I am down for some fun ;) Do you have any pics of yourself?
From Karen ******** to Me:
Mike are you still there? I havent heard from you!
From Me to Karen ********:
STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND.
From Karen ******** to Me:
umm...what?
From Me to Karen ********:
YOU HEARD ME, YOU WHORE. THIS IS MIKE'S WIFE. HE DIDN'T TELL YOU HE WAS MARRIED, DID HE, YOU FUCKING SLUT!
From Karen ******** to Me:
huh I swear he didn't say anything about that! I'm sorry! I won't write again!
From Me to Karen ********:
Karen,
It is Mike. What the hell did you say to my wife? She found out about us! She is packing her stuff and talking about a divorce. What did you do?!
Mike
From Karen ******** to Me:
I responded to YOUR email that's it! Maybe you shouldn't let your wife check your email! Lastly there is no "us"! I wouldn't screw around with a married man! Shame on you for cheating on your wife!
From Me to Karen ********:
Karen,
Look, I'm sorry, I should have told you about my wife. I just didn't think it was worth mentioning.
Now I managed to calm my wife down. She was willing to hear my side of the story. I told her you were an old girlfriend from high school that was still obsessed with me, and I was trying to get rid of you. She believes me, but she wants to kick your ass. Would you be able to come over here and let my wife kick your ass? Don't worry, she doesn't hit that hard. Just pretend it hurts. I'll give you $20 if you can do this for me.
Please help me out here!
Mike
From Karen ******** to Me:
why would you tell her that!!!!! just be honest and accept what you did!! no I wont go over there to get beat up are you out of your mind????
From Me to Karen ********:
Please Karen! If she divorces me, I am screwed. I made the mistake of not signing a prenuptial agreement when we got married, and now she is talking about taking everything! She even wants to take my Plasma TV! That TV is my world. It is like a son to me. Please don't let her do this. Just come over and let her kick your ass. Do it for me, Karen.
Mike
From Karen ******** to Me:
I'm sorry but this is not my fault at all. I can't help you.
From Me to Karen ********:
Fuck. Well are you still down for a good time with dinner and a movie?
From Karen ******** to Me:
absolutely not.
From Me to Karen ********:
So you ruin my life, and now you won't even go out on a date with me? Thanks a lot, Karen. Next time why don't you add "WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE" next to your personal ad?
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
GOLDMAN SACHS
Things heard in the Goldman Sachs elevators do not stay in the Goldman Sachs elevators. It takes a certain type of person to thrive at GS. Here is an insight to what the 1% think.
[lift going down] Analyst#1: "He said 'Coffee's for closers.' I wanted to punch him in the face." Analyst#2: "What a tool."
1: "I'm like 85% sure I saw John Stamos at Nobu last night." 2: "If it was really Stamos, you'd be 100% sure."
#1: "She's cool. How'd you guys meet?" #2: (quietly) "A Fashion Meets Finance event." #1: "No, seriously?"
#1: "We started a rumor with our analyst pool that they'll be drug tested this week... And a few of them are freaking out."
#1: "Are you going to the Analyst drinks tonight?" #2: "I'd rather watch my parents f*ck."
"Tiger Woods would make a kick-ass coverage banker for our Korea team."
FID#1: "You look like u didn't go home last night." IBD#1: "You look like u don't remember getting home last night."
#1: Unemployment rate for people that voted for Obama is probably 25-30%. #2: They get what they deserve.
#1: Bali. Jo wants a destination wedding. #2: Nice, and the benefit of being far away, it'll filter out any poor people u have to invite.
#1: My MD asked her "Aren't u glad u snagged a Goldman banker." She said "Actually, we've been dating since Lehman." She was so pissed.
PHILOSOPHY OF THE WEEK
Here's the deal. There is a dude on YouTube called Jay Herrod who's life mission is to upload weird videos of himself giving the world advice. Here is this weeks...
WOMEN FAILING TO DRINK WATER, CRUDELY EDITED AS THERE ISN'T A BETTER JOKE OUT THERE THAN A PENIS JOKE!
MIDGETS
How much funnier would shit be if all the rich and famous folk out there were all midgets! With the help of photoshop we explore...
FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week
COMIC STRIP
JOKES
My wife just called me.
She said, "The two kids want you to take them Bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema."
"It's either one or the other," I said, "otherwise it's too expensive."
"Okay," she replied. "Which one do you prefer?"
I said, "David."
"Sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?"
"I'm too drunk, you get in."
My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life.
She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.
Bob is unemployed and applies for a job as a janitor at Microsoft. A manager at Human Resources interviews him in detail then asks him to wipe a few floors as a test.
"OK," says the interviewer, "you're hired. Just give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the necessary documents."
Bob says that he doesn't have a computer, so obviously has no e-mail address. The Microsoft interviewer tells him that without an e-mail address he virtually doesn't exist, so the company is unable to hire him.
Disappointed and frustrated, Bob leaves the building with only 10 dollars in his pocket. He decides to go to the nearest supermarket and buy 10 pounds of tomatoes. He sells the tomatoes door-to-door and within two hours has doubled his capital. He repeats the process three times and ends up with 160 dollars.
Realising that he can make a living this way, Bob works hard from early morning to late at night. Every day, he doubles or even triples his capital. After a short time, he buys a small van, then a truck, and soon he has an entire fleet for his deliveries.
Within 5 years, Bob has established one of the largest food retail chains in the USA. He decides to think about his future and wants to get a financial plan drawn up for himself and his family. He contacts a financial consultant and they compile a pension plan. At the end of the discussion, the consultant asks Bob for his e-mail address in order to send him the corresponding documents, only to hear that Bob still does not own a computer and has no e-mail address.
"That's weird," says the consultant. "You have built up a massive retail empire and you don't even have an e-mail address. Just imagine what you would have achieved if you'd had a computer."
Bob thinks for a minute, then says: "I'd be a janitor at Microsoft."
Democracy: Where any two idiots outvote a genius.
I said to my housemate, "Wanna hear a joke?"
He goes, "Alright then."
"What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?"
"I don't know," he said.
"You're disgusting."
She said, "The two kids want you to take them Bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema."
"It's either one or the other," I said, "otherwise it's too expensive."
"Okay," she replied. "Which one do you prefer?"
I said, "David."
"Sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?"
"I'm too drunk, you get in."
My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life.
She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.
Bob is unemployed and applies for a job as a janitor at Microsoft. A manager at Human Resources interviews him in detail then asks him to wipe a few floors as a test.
"OK," says the interviewer, "you're hired. Just give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the necessary documents."
Bob says that he doesn't have a computer, so obviously has no e-mail address. The Microsoft interviewer tells him that without an e-mail address he virtually doesn't exist, so the company is unable to hire him.
Disappointed and frustrated, Bob leaves the building with only 10 dollars in his pocket. He decides to go to the nearest supermarket and buy 10 pounds of tomatoes. He sells the tomatoes door-to-door and within two hours has doubled his capital. He repeats the process three times and ends up with 160 dollars.
Realising that he can make a living this way, Bob works hard from early morning to late at night. Every day, he doubles or even triples his capital. After a short time, he buys a small van, then a truck, and soon he has an entire fleet for his deliveries.
Within 5 years, Bob has established one of the largest food retail chains in the USA. He decides to think about his future and wants to get a financial plan drawn up for himself and his family. He contacts a financial consultant and they compile a pension plan. At the end of the discussion, the consultant asks Bob for his e-mail address in order to send him the corresponding documents, only to hear that Bob still does not own a computer and has no e-mail address.
"That's weird," says the consultant. "You have built up a massive retail empire and you don't even have an e-mail address. Just imagine what you would have achieved if you'd had a computer."
Bob thinks for a minute, then says: "I'd be a janitor at Microsoft."
Democracy: Where any two idiots outvote a genius.
I said to my housemate, "Wanna hear a joke?"
He goes, "Alright then."
"What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?"
"I don't know," he said.
"You're disgusting."
VIDEOS
ENJOY THE FREEZING WEATHER THIS WEEKEND
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