Therapy Sessions mkii: Session 73

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Word up bitches! Session 73 is here! A full on episode covered in hundreds-and-thousands, we even have royal titties this week!

Hope you enjoy and we'll see you mugs next week

Session 5 is out now, click to download from iTunes

SONG OF THE DAY

For the Hillsborough 96 who finally got some closure this week

PICS

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GIFS

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FORBIDDEN FRUIT

Infographic by Culinary Schools.org

FACEBOOK

This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook

SHADOW ART

Yes, it is a thing

DON'T EVEN REPLY

Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist

Original ad:
Pole hedge trimmer for sale - Homelite electric hedge trimmer. Great condition. $50 OBO. Email me at russ*******@gmail.com.

From Me to Russ *******:

Hey Russ,

That's a really nice shovel you have in the picture. Is it for sale?

Mike

From Russ ******* to Me:

Sorry guy. Only selling the hedge trimmer.

From Me to Russ *******:

I'll give you $10 for the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Cant you read? The shovel isnt for sale.

From Me to Russ *******:

You drive a hard bargain on the shovel. I'll give you $15 for it, and that is my final offer.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Here is my final offer: shut the hell up and leave me alone!

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Later, from another email account...

========================================================

From Me to Russ *******:

Hey I'm emailing you about the shovel. Your asking price of $10 sounds fair to me. And with the free extention cord, that is a steal. I'll take it!

From Russ ******* to Me:

What are you on about? The shovel isn't for sale.

From Me to Russ *******:

Excuse me? That's not what your ad says.

From Russ ******* to Me:

My ad says nothing about the shovel. I'm selling the hedge trimmer, not the shovel. Look again. Nowhere is a shovel mentioned.

From Me to Russ *******:

Quit dicking me around. This ad says you are selling the shovel!

I can assure you I am not Jewish so you can stop pretending you aren't selling the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Oh my god...I swear I didnt put that up. Somebody is messing with me!

From Russ ******* to Me:

Can you send me the link to that ad so I can have them take it down?

From Me to Russ *******:

Sorry, I can't find the link anymore. My wife needed to use the computer so I had to delete my browsing history because I was looking at porn earlier. It was somewhere in the stuff for sale section, if I'm not mistaken...so does this mean I can't buy your shovel?

========================================================

From another email account...

========================================================

From Me to Russ *******:

Dear Anti-Semite douchebag,

I got a bone to pick with you. I came across your ad in my search for a new shovel and it seemed like a great deal. Until I read your disgusting comment about not selling the shovel to Jewish people. How the hell do you think that is acceptable in this day and age? What does it matter what religion someone is for you to sell them a shovel? This is absolutely despicable and an outrage to the Jewish community. You make me sick.

Sincerely NOT buying your shovel of hatred,

Mordecai Goldstein

From Russ ******* to Me:

I don't have a problem with jews at all! Someone else put that ad up to mess with me and I cant find where it is! Can you send me the link to the ad please??

From Me to Russ *******:

Why don't you shovel your Nazi bullshit to someone else? This "Jew" isn't buying it!

========================================================

He finally decided to email my original account:

========================================================

From Russ ******* to Me:

Look you little prick I know you put that fucking ad up and you need to take it the fuck down RIGHT NOW. I'm not selling the fucking shovel GET OVER IT and quit being immature you son of a bitch.

From Me to Russ *******:

I'm sorry, I thought I was doing you a favor. I wanted you to see how many great offers you could get if you decided to sell the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

I'M NOT SELLING THE FUCKING SHOVEL LET IT GO! Tell me this asshole if you were doing a favor then why did you put that shit about the jews in there???

From Me to Russ *******:

I detected some strong anti-Semitic undertones in our initial conversation...I just assumed you were an anti-Semite. My apologies.

From Russ ******* to Me:

TAKE THE AD DOWN

========================================================

I emailed him one last time, from another account.

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From Me to Russ *******:

Good afternoon!

I saw your ad for the shovel for sale. I'm more interested in the axe you have in that picture. Are you selling the axe? I'll give you $20 cash for it.

- Dave

ROYAL BOOBIES

Every now and then the French do something that almost makes us forgive them...

AUTOCORRECT

A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!

THE INTERNET LEAGUE OF JUSTICE

SPACEDICKS

God help us. A collection of what the net is actually good for... Fucked up shit in all its forms

FAIL

A short collection of FAILS from the week

JOKES

I saw a busker with no arms today singing so badly I offered him a fiver to stop.

But that was just another note he couldn't hold

I went to see the Red Arrows today.

There were gasps of "Ooh" and "Aah" as the crowds watched on in amazement. Near miss after near miss had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief.

It was a good half hour's worth of entertainment, but in the end, my wife finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show.

My wife said, "I feel like the romance has gone from our marriage."

"Don't be silly," I replied, putting my arm around her. "Now let's go upstairs and I'll punch you in the cunt a few times with my dick."

I was approached by a prostitute in Glasgow who asked me if I wanted a fuck.

"I've only got a fiver," I told her.

Luckily she had change.

My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday.

I'll tell her it's pronounced 'spade' when I give it to her tomorrow.