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Another big session this week. Lots of vids and images for you to enjoy, so make the most of it fuckers
SONG OF THE DAY
PICS
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GIFS
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FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
SIGNAGE
For some reason you folks keep asking us for more signs, so here you go
AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
looking for a ride from wilmington to manhattan next wednesday, any time during the day is good. I will pay for all of your gas as compensation.
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hello,
I am driving to NYC for a business meeting around 10 AM on Wednesday and would be able to give you a ride. Let me know if you still need one.
Mike
From Chris ******* to Me
mike, that sounds great. where do you want to meet to pick me up? i can meet you anywhere in wilmington. also, how much do you want for gas?
chris
Mike Anderson to Chris *******
Chris,
I shouldn't need too much money for gas. I drive a Hummer H2 with a swapped motor, so gas really isn't a problem. It gets about 4 MPG highway and only takes premium, so I'd say about $100 should cover it.
Mike
From Chris ******* to Me
what do you mean gas isnt a problem? 4 mpg is ridiculous. I was expecting to pay like 20 or 30 bucks tops! sorry but I'll have to pass
Mike Anderson to Chris ********
If you only want to pay 30 bucks, that can get you as far as Exit 7 on the Jersey Turnpike. I can drop you off there, and you can hitchhike the rest of the way. I'm pretty sure hitchhiking is still legal in NJ so it shouldn't be a problem for you. I can pick you up on Naaman's Road in Wilmington by the Target shopping center around 9:30.
From Chris ******* to Me
are you serious? no I dont want to be dropped off in the middle of the turnpike. forget it
Mike Anderson to Chris ********
Okay, I can give you a ride to Manhattan for $30, but in return, we need to stop at this guy's house in New Brunswick to get some money that he owes me. He's been dodging my calls, so he probably won't be too willing to give the money when we show up at his house. I need you to stand there and look intimidating so he realizes we mean business. How big are you? You should be at least 5'11 and 200 lbs. You can bring a big friend if you are scrawny, but you should ask him to throw up some gas money too.
From Chris ******* to Me
what the fuck is wrong with you? you sound like a drug dealer. i dont want to ride to manhattan with you
Mike Anderson to Chris ********
Chris, I'm sorry that you have turned down my ride. I think you should change your ad on ********** to avoid any further confusion. I re-wrote it for you so all you have to do is click "edit" and then paste this where the original ad is:
"scrawny man, not capable of intimidating people, looking for a ride from wilmington to new york. not willing to be reasonable in compensation for gas. will most likely complain about stupid stuff the whole ride up"
From Chris ******* to Me
fuck off asshole
LITERAL SONGS
Simple Idea, play the music video of a song and the sing what you see. Simples
HOW TO TURN A BEER BOTTLE INTO A GLASS
STEP 1:
Pick a brand with a sturdy but attractive bottle. (Try Grolsch or Darling Brew’s dumpie-style bottle. Corona’s also good, because the bottle is especially thick.) Tie a string tightly around the empty bottle just above the label.
STEP 2:
Slip the string off and soak it in lighter fluid. (Keep your fingers dry!)
STEP 3:
Put the string back on the bottle and light it. Hold the bottle horizontally and rotate it so the flame spreads. Wait to hear the bottle crack slightly, about 10 seconds.
STEP 4:
Pour cold water on the string. The top of the bottle will fall off.
STEP 5:
Sandpaper the edges until smooth.
ROLLER-COASTERS
A ride along on some of the worlds biggest and fastest rollercoasters
FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week
SPACEDICKS
God help us. A collection of what the net is actually good for... Fucked up shit in all its forms
SPACEDICKS
God help us. A collection of what the net is actually good for... Fucked up shit in all its forms
JOKES
I fucked this girl last night, and I must have been brilliant because she was telling everyone about it.
Her friends, her parents, the police...
My girlfriend was putting sun cream on.
"Do you mind doing my back?" she asked.
"Let's pretend I'm your butler" I winked. "My name's Dawes."
"Ok!" she giggled, "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?"
And that was all the invitation I needed...
"That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing," I said. "I bet you want my cock in you."
"Dave," my wife said, "do you know I can hear you on the baby monitor?"
"A Vodka Martini please mate," I said as I pushed my way in front of two massive women in the cocktail bar.
"That's very rude!" one of them said. "Just for that you can buy ours! That'll be two margaritas."
"And two cheese and tomato pizzas for these fat cunts please."
Message to all Muslims:
China said that Mohammad loves it up the shitter.
Just try picking a fight with them.
I saw a woman trying to park her car in the Tesco car park today.
After a few minutes I went over and said, "Would you like me to do that for you?"
"No thanks," she replied.
"Are you sure?" I asked, as I walked out with my shopping 45 minutes later.
VIDEOS
DO SOMETHING EPIC THIS WEEKEND
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