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Another big session for you fuckers this week. Sorry we haven't done another radio show in a few weeks, believe it or not we have lives!
Enjoy
SONG OF THE DAY
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A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
I(KEA) GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT THE BITCH AINT ONE
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
I(KEA) GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT THE BITCH AINT ONE
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
2007 Cadillac Escalade for sale - 38,000 miles. Great condition! Asking $40,000. E-mail if interested.
From Mike Partlow to **************@*********.org
Hey,
I have a proposition for you. I will give you $50 if you let me borrow your Escalade for tomorrow night. I have been trying to get a date with this girl, but the only way I was able to get her to go on a date with me was by telling her that I am a very rich and powerful drug dealer. The problem is, I am not a drug dealer, and I actually drive a 91 Honda Accord. She will know I am lying if I pick her up in that. The only chance I have of getting with this chick is if I roll up in your ballin Escalade. If you let me borrow it, on top of giving you $50, I will put a few gallons of gas in it. I promise we will not have sex on your seats.
Please help me out!
Mike
From James ******* to Me
Absolutely not. The car is not for rent!
From Mike Partlow to James ********
James,
I am willing to pay you up to $60 to borrow your Escalade. If you are worried about me messing it up, you can ride with me. In fact, you can drive it. I'll tell her you are my bodyguard. That would actually work out better, I think. Do you look like a bodyguard? You'd have to wear a suit, and possibly one of those earpieces with the coiled cord running down your neck. You should occasionally touch the earpiece to your ear, like you are listening to some badass security chatter. You shouldn't talk have to talk much, just drive and look badass.
Please reconsider my offer.
Mike
From James ******** to Me
No. That is stupid. Maybe you should try asking out a woman that isn't a materialistic gold digger.
From Mike Partlow to James *********
Golddigger or not, this girl's rack is phenominal. Tell you what, if you consider my offer and I end up getting laid, I will try to snap a picture of her tits with my cellphone and send it to you. Trust me, they are great.
Mike
From James ******** to Me
Shut up. You aren't borrowing my car.
From Mike Partlow to James *********
Well James, you are being a cockblocker. I hope next time you are trying to get your D wet, you get the shit cockblocked out of you.
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
WE'VE TAKEN OVER THE LONDON UNDERGROUND
WE'VE TAKEN OVER THE LONDON UNDERGROUND
WEIRDNESS ON TV
ONLY IN JAPAN
ONLY IN JAPAN
FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week
JOKES
Jimmy Savile's family have had the gravestone removed along with the flowers as a mark of respect. It just leaves a small hole and no bush around it.
Just what he would have wanted.
I don't believe these allegations against Jimmy Savile. I met him in Leeds General Hospital in the 1980s and he seemed very nice.
Next people will be telling me he wasn't qualified to perform my prostate examination.
What's worse than child abduction?
Jokes, apparently.
My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.
But I laugh more.
Which is more important, length or girth?
Turns out it's consent.
Two things I've been cursed with are a weak bladder, and terrible amnesia.
Still, this bottle of apple juice should take my mind off things.
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