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We have been taken over by memes this week. Somewhere there is the usual stuff though.
Enjoy...
FRY
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BAD LUCK BRIAN
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ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY...
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ANTI JOKE CHICKEN
AUTOCORRECT
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
A collection of SMS messages that have gone slightly wrong!
MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD
DON'T EVEN REPLY
Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist
Original ad:
im looking for ride from the philadelphia area to pittsburgh next friday. i will split the cost of gas with you. I am female, and would prefer to ride with another female or young(21-ish) person.
From Mike Anderson to ************@*********.org
Hey! I am going to Pittsburgh and can give you a ride. Can you meet me at 30th St. Station 11 AM on Friday? By the way, I'm 21, so you don't have to worry about riding with some old creeper.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
hey mike! that sounds good. how much do you want for gas? let me get your number so we can work out the details
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Melanie,
I was thinking around $70 should cover it. Unfortunately I do not have a cell phone because I accidentally forgot to take my pants off when I was taking a bath last night and forgot my cell phone was in the pocket. It won't turn on! Could you just stand outside of the west entrance with a sign that says "I'm Melanie" ? I'll look for you.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
wow i wasnt expecting to pay $70! why so much? i was thinking more around 30-35 bucks! also im not standing out there with a sign lol.
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Melanie, I'm sorry but the price is not negotiable. Unfortunately the cheapest bus ticket is $70. Do you want to just meet me on the bus if you don't want to stand out there with a sign?
From Melanie ******** to Me
what?! i didnt want to ride a bus! i thought you were driving a car to pittsburgh. wtf dude
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Well shit Melanie, I didn't think you would be so picky about what kind of vehicle you wanted to ride in. If price is an issue, I can sneak you on the bus. I've done it before with my son. I have a duffel bag that is pretty big, and you can just hide inside it and not move and they will load you under the bus. I'll make sure that they put you on top of all the other luggage so you aren't crushed. You can have my video ipod to stay entertained during the bus ride. It has the first season of Deadwood on it. You aren't fat, are you? I don't want the bag to rip from underneath when they lift it up.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
are you fucking with me? this has to be a joke. there is no fucking way im doing that
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Oh, you aren't a Deadwood fan? I think I have the Ben Affleck hit "Gigli" on my iPod if you wanted to watch that instead.
From Melanie ******** to Me
NO! IM NOT SNEAKING ON TO THE FUCKING BUS IN A GODDAMN SUITCASE
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Okay, I didn't realize you were so sensitive about your weight. If you can't fit in the duffel bag that's fine. I just went and ordered you the bus ticket. It is pretty much first-come first-serve for seating on the bus. You can sit next to me if you want, but I want the window seat. I also have to get up a lot to pee so you will have to get up so I can squeeze out.
From Melanie ******** to Me
IM NOT RIDING THE BUS! I'LL FIND ANOTHER RIDE
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Well you owe me $70 for the ticket! I can't return it!
From Melanie ******** to Me
I NEVER SAID TO BUY IT! THAT IS YOUR FAULT DUDE GOODBYE
TOUGH GUY
FACEBOOK
This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook
ROMNEY
FAIL
A short collection of FAILS from the week
SUCCESSFUL BLACK GUY
JOKES
A woman with a clipboard approached me today.
She said, "We are conducting a television survey, how would you describe your viewing style?"
I said, "Pakistani style."
"Excuse me?" she said. "What does that mean exactly?"
"Never seen a soap in my life."
Americans: Iran and Iraq are countries, not Apple products, so say their names properly.
Pythagoras walks into a bar muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the square of, erm... uh...'
The barman says, 'Y, the long face?'
For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.
Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
Lance Armstrong has flown into New York to deny doping claims.
It would have been more convincing if he'd used a plane.
My daughter came home from school today and said, "Dad, I'd like you to meet my new boyfriend."
"Where is he then?" I asked.
She said, "He's right here."
"I still can't see him," I said, "There's a huge nigger standing in the way."
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